It's been seven months since I've written here. I had been so determined then to change my perspective and choose to see life from a better viewpoint. I can't say that I've been successful. I think that's part of the reason I haven't written. Unfortunately, if there is anything that I'm actually good at, it's seeing the negative in things. Call it a gift.
I can't say that everything has been bad. There have been so many wonderfully exciting things that happened this past year. Though it wasn't a show I'd ever have wanted to do before, I was finally able to get onstage again. I wish I could say I've been back since then, but hopefully that will change again. My sister and I have developed a relationship that we've never had before. That makes me happier than I can say. We started a blog in July and began gearing up for our first comic convention together in August. We've watched a bunch of movies, like Elysium, Thor 2, The Hobbit 2, and The World's End. We've been able to meet all kinds of exciting new people and see fantastic things. I've met celebrities like Eddie McClintock, Michael Rosenbaum, John Barrowman, and I even got a smooch from James Marsters. I cannot even begin to name all of the great comic book writers, artists and publishers that I've had the fortune of meeting and working with. I'm hoping that this year the number of cool people I meet is able to triple or quadruple. There is nothing quite like meeting new people. It is inspiring and humbling.
I've been working on several cosplay projects and Sarah is starting to get in on it as well. My last couple of cosplay projects were even (mostly) sewn by me. Mom and I haven't really had the time together for her to sit down and give me lessons, but I'm learning, albeit slowly. My last project required a corset and "leather" pants. Mom didn't think that I'd be able to do the pants, but I was determined and they are actually wearable. Granted, they still need a bit of adjustment to get the perfect fit, but they worked out surprisingly well. I think my mother was more surprised than I was. People are picking up on my cosplay, too. I'm getting more job offers and I even won an online contest. So exciting! Oh, and I started a cosplay Facebook and have gotten many friends there.
I started singing with a swing band. It's been such an adventure. I've had the opportunity to sing a bunch of songs that I've loved for as long as I can remember and I've been able to sing pieces that I didn't know before and that I now love dearly. The experience of singing with an actual band is thrilling. I'm always amazed to be working with such talented people. There are several things that have happened this year that would not have happened if I hadn't started working with Sophisticated Swing.
I was trying to think of some firsts that I had this past year and the one that kept coming to mind was lobster. I've had lobster only one time and it was this year on the set of a film. I can't really say what film it was, but I can't wait to do it again. Screen work is so different than stage work. Doing Dawson's Creek years ago showed me that. This was far more grand. Craft Services had anything anyone could ever want. It was unreal. I had the opportunity to watch amazingly talented actors and stunt people do what they do best, and watch high speed chases and SUVs on fire. I wish that I could have been on set longer. I'm sure that when the movie is released, you won't see me at all, but that doesn't take away from the fact that I was there. I hope that I'm able to do it again someday soon.
I also was able to go to the drive in for the first time. I have wanted to own one since I was little, so this was so exciting for me. I had the idea that the drive in should have Despicable Me 2 and Monsters Inc. 2 playing, and wouldn't you know, a couple of weeks later, it did. I went with Sarah and her family and had a fantastic time.
Another first time thing that I've been waiting on my whole life? Well, I was finally able to see New Kids on the Block in concert. Not only was it NKOTB, but Boyz II Men and 98°. I wasn't all that excited about 98°, but they ended up being awesome as well. The other two groups WERE my elementary school experience. How exciting is that?! It was so surreal to see these people and sing all the songs from my childhood that I knew by heart. What a special, magical moment.
I'm creeping my way to three years of being cancer free. It's so hard to believe. My last oncology appointment went really well. He told me that once we hit three years, most of the pressure is off. Five years is when I get the all clear, but knowing that I'm already halfway through that is a wonderful feeling. Unfortunately, the rest of my health has been a bit more turbulent. After several months of being ill and having to wait months to get in to see a doctor, I took my issues into my own hands and completely changed my diet. Thankfully, omitting many foods actually helped so much. Months later, I found out that I no longer can digest lactose and have a gluten sensitivity. Apparently my years of being obsessed with carbs and dairy (mostly cinnamon rolls, french toast and ice cream) came back to bite me in the butt. Looks like you really can have too much of a good thing. My body decided enough was enough. I did just finally find a gluten free burger though. Praise the Lord!
I met my new surgeon and she would like me to have another surgery...possibly more. She sent me back to the geneticist and THAT doctor seemed to think there was another possibility than having two really rare genetic diseases. She found a different disease that seemed to cover all of my symptoms, but there is no cure or treatment. She discouraged me from getting the test done, but I told her I'd rather know than sit around and think about it all the time. Against her recommendation, I had the testing done. The first round of testing took about 5 weeks to come back, but thankfully, they were negative. They did another round of testing following that, but I still haven't heard anything. Today actually makes six weeks. I wish I knew whether that was a good or a bad thing.
Yikes! I still have so many things to write. Maybe bullet points would be better. I worked on my car for the first time this year (changed oil and filter, rotated tires, etc). Mom and I went to see Patsy Clairmont again. She's so inspirational to me. I can only pray that God is able to use me a fraction of the way He has used that woman. I was able to help out with a clinical trial for colon cancer patients and do some more princess visits at the Cleveland Clinic. I had to say goodbye to the Boles family. They had become a second family to me while I was living with them and it was extremely hard for me. Shortly thereafter, I left my position at PCA. It was hard to leave the kids, but it needed to be done.
I wasn't able to make it downtown to watch many shows this year, but I did get to see a few for free! I got to see In the Mood with my band director and his wife. Mom and I went to see Once, and Hungarian folk dancers. They were both so great. Recently, I took mom and Sarah to see A Christmas Carol. I never have really liked that story, but when I see Great Lakes do it, I always enjoy myself. My favorite show to see, though not a stage production, was The Wizard of Oz. Mom and I went to see it in IMAX 3D. I never thought that I would see it in the theatre, let alone something of such magnitude. Judy Garland was right in my face! From the moment the overture started, I was in tears. Unfortunately, because of medication and things, I have basically no memory, but THIS is something I will never be able to forget. I put on one of my Oz shirts, put my hair in braids and off we went. I loved every moment of it and don't know that I'll ever have another experience quite like it.
So, this year has been really hard. I've had a lot more tribulation in the health department and my panic disorder has gotten so bad that I'm back to the point of agoraphobia. It's not at all where I want to be, and I didn't think I'd have to be suffering through the same battles I did 21 years ago. However, I'm choosing to remember the best parts of this past year and choosing to believe that this coming year is going to be a great one. Why? Because
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."
2 Timothy 1:7
Song of the day: This Year http://youtu.be/l2yNNvfjvug
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