Things seem to be going back to that place where nothing goes the right way. That being said, I guess I'm not really sure what the "right" way is anymore. Nothing has ever come easy and most of the time it doesn't matter how hard I try, things still end terribly. I guess that's one of the reasons I stopped trying. I find myself apathetic toward most things.
I am having a difficult time understanding why people who constantly struggle to do what's right are always faced with situations that are so crippling. It's not a question of why bad things happen to good people, it's a question of why constant tribulation is poured upon a group of Godly people...people who really try to find the will of Christ in their lives and to glorify Him in all they do.
I find it difficult to keep my thoughts organized or linear. In fact, most of my thoughts really aren't thoughts at all...they're a jumble of words, pictures and colors. I stare blankly at whatever is before me and wonder why I cannot feel anything...why nothing inspires me to move or even react. Why do I hear and see things, but nothing is absorbed? Why is it that the things that are considered "pleasant" don't seem lasting or real?
It was raining heavily on Monday. It was one of those rains with the big, fat drops and it was still fairly warm. That's the best kind of rain in my opinion. I thought that maybe if I could just go out in that rain that I'd be able to feel something. If I could just stretch out my arms, throw back my head and scream at the sky or cry or something...anything...that the rain would make me feel. I didn't really get much time in the rain. By the time I had gotten home it had pretty much stopped, but before my drive I took plenty of time in getting to my car. I didn't run or hurry in any way. I walked slowly and held my eyes closed trying to concentrate on the heavy drops splashing on my face and the little river around my feet. I wanted to experience the warmth of the air and the chill of the falling water. After all, isn't feeling part of what makes us human? What are we if we are numb to everything? Or I suppose the more appropriate question is, "Who am I".
I've been wanting to write about all of this confusion and frustration. Lyrics, I mean. Somehow this is the first time I've been able to write ANYTHING that makes any kind of sense at all. Or maybe it doesn't, but at least it's formed enough for me to get it from my brain to my fingers to this keyboard. That's a step, I suppose. Maybe if I can write enough, the emptying of my brain will somehow mean the filling of my spirit. I don't like this hollow feeling. It's like I'm a plastic Easter egg. I guess the real similarity between myself and that simile is that we both feel a bit better when filled with chocolate.
I really hate people being cut out of my life. It's one thing I'll never get used to. Obviously, death is terrible and painful, but other times people need to be subtracted just because that's the right thing to do. It's hard and it's awful. I almost find it harder than someone passing, because at least the people who went away didn't WANT to leave me. In these cases, I guess I didn't want to leave either. That certainly would have made it suck less. I am not a fan of difficult/adult decisions. Often times, doing what God asks you to do is much harder than doing what you'd prefer, but I know that He will somehow honor obedience.
My mangled thoughts for today.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
What day is this?
I had been keeping track of how many days it's been since my diagnosis...in fact, it's in my day planner, but sadly, that's away from me at the moment. I had written some other blogs, but I found myself unable to publish them. They were just too personal. I guess I felt I had to hold them close to me. There are still some things that I just don't know if I want everyone to be a part of. That being said, things have been fairly difficult lately. Oddly enough, it's not even stuff that is "my own", it just is close to me and makes things...well...harder. That's not to say that great things haven't happened. I just got a call a few days ago from the Cleveland Clinic that made me squeal. I'm not sure how it's going to change things from here on out, but it certainly has lifted a weight off of my shoulders. So, the Lord has been here through the good and the bad. I finally feel as though I can write again, though I might lean toward things that I'm thinking about instead of what's going on in my life.
I've finally hit the wall. You know...the one where you had lost weight and were feeling great and then you gained it all back and you say, "Seriously?! What the heck am I doing?? I was feeling really good and now I'm back to where I was. Is food really THAT important?" So, I did my first Jillian Michaels work out today and hopefully will be attending the gym at least three times a week. I really thought I'd be better once I got out of the hospital since they encourage you to eat well after surgery, but when all the foods you SHOULD eat you're not allowed for 6 weeks...it kinda starts you off on the wrong foot. Hopefully that will start to be remedied very quickly.
I was looking for a new e-book on my Nook and realized that there seem to be no books to instruct women on how to do handy things. Maybe I'm just looking in the wrong place, but I really couldn't find anything. There are lots on what to expect when you're pregnant, shopping, finding Mr. Right, books on how to do dirty things, how to plan weddings...what if a girl doesn't want all those things? I just want to find one of those books like they have for guys...like the ultimate guy's guide to doing everything kind of thing. My brother has one that I think is called Man Up. I want one like that but for a woman. I want something that has all kinds of information that you really should know, but often aren't taught. Maybe they're under Butch Women or Old Fashioned Women. I dunno. And if there isn't anything out there that's helpful, I'm going to learn it all anyway and write my own book. Surely I can't be the ONLY one who wants to be independent and not some stupid maiden in distress. I mean, I can do a lot of work on my own car and stuff, but there's more than just cars to learn. Well, I guess that's my vent for the evening. If anyone reads this and knows of a book that fits my description, feel free to comment and let us know what it's called.
Verse of the Day: I really love this one...
I've finally hit the wall. You know...the one where you had lost weight and were feeling great and then you gained it all back and you say, "Seriously?! What the heck am I doing?? I was feeling really good and now I'm back to where I was. Is food really THAT important?" So, I did my first Jillian Michaels work out today and hopefully will be attending the gym at least three times a week. I really thought I'd be better once I got out of the hospital since they encourage you to eat well after surgery, but when all the foods you SHOULD eat you're not allowed for 6 weeks...it kinda starts you off on the wrong foot. Hopefully that will start to be remedied very quickly.
I was looking for a new e-book on my Nook and realized that there seem to be no books to instruct women on how to do handy things. Maybe I'm just looking in the wrong place, but I really couldn't find anything. There are lots on what to expect when you're pregnant, shopping, finding Mr. Right, books on how to do dirty things, how to plan weddings...what if a girl doesn't want all those things? I just want to find one of those books like they have for guys...like the ultimate guy's guide to doing everything kind of thing. My brother has one that I think is called Man Up. I want one like that but for a woman. I want something that has all kinds of information that you really should know, but often aren't taught. Maybe they're under Butch Women or Old Fashioned Women. I dunno. And if there isn't anything out there that's helpful, I'm going to learn it all anyway and write my own book. Surely I can't be the ONLY one who wants to be independent and not some stupid maiden in distress. I mean, I can do a lot of work on my own car and stuff, but there's more than just cars to learn. Well, I guess that's my vent for the evening. If anyone reads this and knows of a book that fits my description, feel free to comment and let us know what it's called.
Verse of the Day: I really love this one...
...For I am doing something in your own day, something you wouldn't believe even if someone told you about it. Habakkuk 1:5
Friday, August 12, 2011
One hundred and first day surviving cancer
One hundred and first day surviving cancer:
My work day has just begun, but I feel like I've already accomplished so much. This morning I woke up and went to the chiropractor. I was kind of nervous about it. Hugh told me that after we looked at my x-rays, we'd do an adjustment if it was needed. I've never had one before so there was a small fear that something would go wrong. I see stuff on tv and think, "Shouldn't that kill or paralyze that person?!" I know it's silly. I know these guys have gone to school and studied this stuff for a long time, but it's still weird to me.
Well, Hugh and I went over the x-rays and my lower back is surprisingly better than I had thought. There is obviously some scoliosis there, but the curvature is surprisingly normal. He said he doesn't usually see a normal curvature with the amount of pain and especially with scoli, so that was a good thing. Now there's the bad...we took a look at my neck and it's RIDICULOUS! The curvature is completely backward. Yes, backward. He said he hasn't seen a case this bad in a really long time. I also am developing a bone spur in an area I've been complaining about lately. He said usually he doesn't see that in patients as young as myself. I told him that's the story of my life. SO, apparently I'll be seeing him twice a week for the next five weeks so that we can try to get my neck back to normal. HA...normal...
I headed to First Merit to deposit the money from the Benefit. That was bitter sweet. I had to take a picture before I sent it off. Lol. Yes, I have issues.
After that I headed to Dr. Sailors' office so that I could help out the lady who was filling out all of my medicaid papers. She called me because she didn't know exactly what was going on and it was just easier for the two of us to do it together. Thank goodness that's over with...for now at least. Now it's just the constant jumping through hoops and playing phone tag. Oh the games the the government makes us play. Hurrah.
I went to Giant Eagle to see if anyone had claimed the phone I found yesterday. I figured if they hadn't and no one came within the next few days, I'd try putting it up on Craigslist. Fortunately, it seems as though they located it. Maybe now God will send me a phone that works. Hey...a girl can dream.
Speaking of dreams, I had the most hilarious dreams last night. What a glorious change from the nightmares that I've had for so long. First there was this part where there were tons of people in what looked like a basement and it kind of seemed like a theatre camp. Sarah and I were called on to do some improv thing. We came from opposite sides of the room, hugged and then briefly discussed what we were going to do. We laughed hysterically about trying to do the one we made up about spray tan salespeople. I thought that's what we were going to do and then it turned into this crazy funny thing about us siding houses. It was insane. I had given my camera to someone so they could tape it but my battery was dead. After we were done, we passed a tv and it was like a cartoon talk show and Mickey was hosting. He started singing and having people repeat it. Then he started beat boxing and the audience tried, but then you started hearing people go, "Man that's hard, I can't do that. Who knew Mickey could beatbox?"...stuff like that. Then Mickey says, "Well, I know someone who's really good at that!" and Justin Beiber comes out. He's singing this song about how everyone has a cartoon version of him and then as he's performing, the "real" Justin Beiber comes out and starts singing for this "theatre camp". He's singing and then Judd Nelson (circa Breakfast Club) comes out and is singing...well mostly rapping...with him. THEN this other guy, I'll have to see if I can find who it is, comes in and starts singing with them. It was INSANE. Somehow there were screaming girls/women EVERYWHERE and the three of them were on this huge stage. Seriously hilarious and ridiculous. I'll take that over insane demon dreams and dreams of people trying to harm me any time. It'll drive me crazy that I don't know his name and therefore it'll be really hard to tell you who it was, but I'll figure it out eventually.
Today is the 72nd anniversary of my favorite movie of all time, The Wizard of Oz. There have been some plans to watch it tonight, but I'm not sure if that's going to happen or not. I certainly hope so. It seems so fun and festive to do it on the anniversary. :D Well, I think this is more than enough for the day.
Song of the Day: Merry Old Land of Oz
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEUTE0K3B3o
Verse of the Day: My experience shoes that those who plant trouble and cultivate evil will harvest the same. Job 4:8
My work day has just begun, but I feel like I've already accomplished so much. This morning I woke up and went to the chiropractor. I was kind of nervous about it. Hugh told me that after we looked at my x-rays, we'd do an adjustment if it was needed. I've never had one before so there was a small fear that something would go wrong. I see stuff on tv and think, "Shouldn't that kill or paralyze that person?!" I know it's silly. I know these guys have gone to school and studied this stuff for a long time, but it's still weird to me.
Well, Hugh and I went over the x-rays and my lower back is surprisingly better than I had thought. There is obviously some scoliosis there, but the curvature is surprisingly normal. He said he doesn't usually see a normal curvature with the amount of pain and especially with scoli, so that was a good thing. Now there's the bad...we took a look at my neck and it's RIDICULOUS! The curvature is completely backward. Yes, backward. He said he hasn't seen a case this bad in a really long time. I also am developing a bone spur in an area I've been complaining about lately. He said usually he doesn't see that in patients as young as myself. I told him that's the story of my life. SO, apparently I'll be seeing him twice a week for the next five weeks so that we can try to get my neck back to normal. HA...normal...
I headed to First Merit to deposit the money from the Benefit. That was bitter sweet. I had to take a picture before I sent it off. Lol. Yes, I have issues.
After that I headed to Dr. Sailors' office so that I could help out the lady who was filling out all of my medicaid papers. She called me because she didn't know exactly what was going on and it was just easier for the two of us to do it together. Thank goodness that's over with...for now at least. Now it's just the constant jumping through hoops and playing phone tag. Oh the games the the government makes us play. Hurrah.
I went to Giant Eagle to see if anyone had claimed the phone I found yesterday. I figured if they hadn't and no one came within the next few days, I'd try putting it up on Craigslist. Fortunately, it seems as though they located it. Maybe now God will send me a phone that works. Hey...a girl can dream.
Speaking of dreams, I had the most hilarious dreams last night. What a glorious change from the nightmares that I've had for so long. First there was this part where there were tons of people in what looked like a basement and it kind of seemed like a theatre camp. Sarah and I were called on to do some improv thing. We came from opposite sides of the room, hugged and then briefly discussed what we were going to do. We laughed hysterically about trying to do the one we made up about spray tan salespeople. I thought that's what we were going to do and then it turned into this crazy funny thing about us siding houses. It was insane. I had given my camera to someone so they could tape it but my battery was dead. After we were done, we passed a tv and it was like a cartoon talk show and Mickey was hosting. He started singing and having people repeat it. Then he started beat boxing and the audience tried, but then you started hearing people go, "Man that's hard, I can't do that. Who knew Mickey could beatbox?"...stuff like that. Then Mickey says, "Well, I know someone who's really good at that!" and Justin Beiber comes out. He's singing this song about how everyone has a cartoon version of him and then as he's performing, the "real" Justin Beiber comes out and starts singing for this "theatre camp". He's singing and then Judd Nelson (circa Breakfast Club) comes out and is singing...well mostly rapping...with him. THEN this other guy, I'll have to see if I can find who it is, comes in and starts singing with them. It was INSANE. Somehow there were screaming girls/women EVERYWHERE and the three of them were on this huge stage. Seriously hilarious and ridiculous. I'll take that over insane demon dreams and dreams of people trying to harm me any time. It'll drive me crazy that I don't know his name and therefore it'll be really hard to tell you who it was, but I'll figure it out eventually.
Today is the 72nd anniversary of my favorite movie of all time, The Wizard of Oz. There have been some plans to watch it tonight, but I'm not sure if that's going to happen or not. I certainly hope so. It seems so fun and festive to do it on the anniversary. :D Well, I think this is more than enough for the day.
Song of the Day: Merry Old Land of Oz
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEUTE0K3B3o
Verse of the Day: My experience shoes that those who plant trouble and cultivate evil will harvest the same. Job 4:8
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Slacking
I've been seriously slacking as far as the blogging is concerned. We were in Colorado for a couple of weeks with a really poor wireless connection, then we came back and I was all about making sure everything was prepared for the benefit. Now the benefit is over and I'm trying to get things ready for my concert at the end of the month, there are lots of birthdays, weddings, graduation parties and funerals. It's interesting that it seems as though things have gotten busier since I've gotten out of the hospital.
The reason that I was inspired to blog just now is that I was trying to find some additional songs to complete the set list for the end of the month. I went back and was looking in the youtube videos of the times that our woship team led the services. I found one from the beginning of April when we did Healer. That song was already in my set list for the show, but I went ahead and watched it anyway. It occured to me that we had just performed this two days after I had gone in for my consult with the gastroenterologist. I was already stepping out on faith and I knew that whatever was wrong with me, God was going to heal me from that. Of course, I had no idea it was going to be cancer, but I knew that I served a God who was (is) bigger than whatever sickness I might be facing. It was unfortunate to watch the progression of things. The youtube videos seemed to document me getting increasingly pale and my strength seemed to fade as the weeks went along. I almost began to weep as I saw the Easter video. I remember how upset I was that I wouldn't be partaking in any of the Easter food and how uncomfortable I was that day and the next. The day after Easter was not a good day. The procedures were awful and painful. The day following that was the official diagnosis. Praise the Lord that just four months later, I have gotten a diagnosis, all the follow up testing, surgery, rehabilitation, and held a benefit. Sooo much has happened in so little time. Yes, I was basically sick the entire year previous to my diagnosis, but that aside, everything went so quickly. It is a huge miracle and I thank the Lord for it. He allowed me to go through it, but still kept me from so much and now something amazing is going to come from it. Jason and I are working on starting a non-profit so that we'll be able to increase awareness of cancer in young people and provide funds for those who are 30 and under and suffering from cancer. I hope that through my journey, God can use me to help others who are hurting and confused. God provides. He is so good.
Song of the Day: Healer- this is just the second part of it...it got cut off in the middle
http://www.youtube.com/user/PainesvilleNaz#p/u/27/8FGZ2b6X2ls
Verse of the Day: I took my troubles to the Lord; I cried out to him and he answered my prayer.
Psalm 120:1
The reason that I was inspired to blog just now is that I was trying to find some additional songs to complete the set list for the end of the month. I went back and was looking in the youtube videos of the times that our woship team led the services. I found one from the beginning of April when we did Healer. That song was already in my set list for the show, but I went ahead and watched it anyway. It occured to me that we had just performed this two days after I had gone in for my consult with the gastroenterologist. I was already stepping out on faith and I knew that whatever was wrong with me, God was going to heal me from that. Of course, I had no idea it was going to be cancer, but I knew that I served a God who was (is) bigger than whatever sickness I might be facing. It was unfortunate to watch the progression of things. The youtube videos seemed to document me getting increasingly pale and my strength seemed to fade as the weeks went along. I almost began to weep as I saw the Easter video. I remember how upset I was that I wouldn't be partaking in any of the Easter food and how uncomfortable I was that day and the next. The day after Easter was not a good day. The procedures were awful and painful. The day following that was the official diagnosis. Praise the Lord that just four months later, I have gotten a diagnosis, all the follow up testing, surgery, rehabilitation, and held a benefit. Sooo much has happened in so little time. Yes, I was basically sick the entire year previous to my diagnosis, but that aside, everything went so quickly. It is a huge miracle and I thank the Lord for it. He allowed me to go through it, but still kept me from so much and now something amazing is going to come from it. Jason and I are working on starting a non-profit so that we'll be able to increase awareness of cancer in young people and provide funds for those who are 30 and under and suffering from cancer. I hope that through my journey, God can use me to help others who are hurting and confused. God provides. He is so good.
Song of the Day: Healer- this is just the second part of it...it got cut off in the middle
http://www.youtube.com/user/PainesvilleNaz#p/u/27/8FGZ2b6X2ls
Verse of the Day: I took my troubles to the Lord; I cried out to him and he answered my prayer.
Psalm 120:1
Monday, July 11, 2011
Seriously delayed post
Well, I knew this would happen, but I was hoping it would be a little longer before it did. I'm way late in posting several of my entries. Things have been really busy with the benefit planning and trying to get ready for Colorado. I'm now IN Colorado, but the wireless connection here is not a good one, so I'm not sure if it'll even allow this message to be posted. I WILL get them up here. I've got stuff documented, just not typed into the computer. Hopefully it won't take long. If I can get a few up in about 20 minutes each night, then maybe I'll have it all done before we go home. When I get home there won't be time then either. The benefit is the following weekend and we're not quite ready. Maybe it'll get better while we're here. It has to, right?
Me
Me
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Day Sixty-One with Cancer
Day Sixty-One/Day Forty-Two without Cancer:
Sunday...and I had to sing this morning. I cannot begin to tell how much anxiety there was this morning. It was insane. Everyone kept saying, "What? Like you haven't done this before?" I had decided that I was going to speak before my song and for some reason as soon as I walked into the building I was shaking. It's the first time I had sung since my surgery. My abdominals didn't seem to be working quite the same. Yes, I suppose that's because I haven't been allowed to use them for 6 weeks, but it's kind of frightening. I need to make sure I have breath control. Thankfully, it went well. The speaking wasn't great. I stumbled over my tongue several times, but I was able to get through it. Dusty came up afterward to lead worship and he started speaking about me, my situation and how much God has gotten me through. He had to stop because he was going to cry. Glad he did, cause I would have cried as well. Service was great. Our District Superintendent was there and he gave the sermon. I love when pastors really challenge you and make you think differently about things. It's exciting.
I was supposed to meet with an old friend after church, but I texted and drove to our meeting spot and never heard back. So, I ended up heading back to CiCi's pizza to eat with Jay, Jenny, Dusty, Shiloh and Dusty's siblings. I know I spoke about this in regards to last Thursday, but I really enjoy being with people like them. The conversation is just always so much fun and I always feel really good when I leave. They're so uplifting. While I was there I got a call from Sarah Ruple. She and Hannah were going to the beach, so I said I'd meet them when I was done. I never seem to get to hang with the girls, so this was a HUGE blessing to me. I cannot begin to express how grateful I am to have them in my life. It's so much fun to be with them and just be silly. I know I can be me and we can laugh about silly, girly things. We can laugh as we see guys trying to act cool and impress us...why do there seem to be so many when we get together? I can't wait until the next time.
Dad made steak for dinner. That was pretty cool. Though I can't eat veggies yet, being able to have the meat is enjoyable. Mom and I spent another evening together. I think we're back to the point of being ready to get a cute apartment together. It was a slow evening. We watched some older food movie. I remember not really liking it the first time I saw it. I'm just not a Cathrerine Zeta Jones fan and the guy in it is NOT attractive. Around eight thirty or so I found Singin' in the Rain on TCM. Score. Gene Kelly is so dreamy. Oh how I wish they made men like him these days. After that was Fred Astaire and Cyd Charisse in The Band Wagon. Ok...I wish they made men like Gene Kelly and I wish I were more like Cyd Charisse. Talk about glamor and legs that went on forever. It's always been a dream of mine to have nice legs. Now that my skin seems to be getting a bit better, it seems more attainable. However, they'd need to be slender and about 4 inches longer. Oh well. A girl can dream :) Simply lovely day. Hurray!
Song of the Day:
Verse of the Day: James 1:2-4
Sunday...and I had to sing this morning. I cannot begin to tell how much anxiety there was this morning. It was insane. Everyone kept saying, "What? Like you haven't done this before?" I had decided that I was going to speak before my song and for some reason as soon as I walked into the building I was shaking. It's the first time I had sung since my surgery. My abdominals didn't seem to be working quite the same. Yes, I suppose that's because I haven't been allowed to use them for 6 weeks, but it's kind of frightening. I need to make sure I have breath control. Thankfully, it went well. The speaking wasn't great. I stumbled over my tongue several times, but I was able to get through it. Dusty came up afterward to lead worship and he started speaking about me, my situation and how much God has gotten me through. He had to stop because he was going to cry. Glad he did, cause I would have cried as well. Service was great. Our District Superintendent was there and he gave the sermon. I love when pastors really challenge you and make you think differently about things. It's exciting.
I was supposed to meet with an old friend after church, but I texted and drove to our meeting spot and never heard back. So, I ended up heading back to CiCi's pizza to eat with Jay, Jenny, Dusty, Shiloh and Dusty's siblings. I know I spoke about this in regards to last Thursday, but I really enjoy being with people like them. The conversation is just always so much fun and I always feel really good when I leave. They're so uplifting. While I was there I got a call from Sarah Ruple. She and Hannah were going to the beach, so I said I'd meet them when I was done. I never seem to get to hang with the girls, so this was a HUGE blessing to me. I cannot begin to express how grateful I am to have them in my life. It's so much fun to be with them and just be silly. I know I can be me and we can laugh about silly, girly things. We can laugh as we see guys trying to act cool and impress us...why do there seem to be so many when we get together? I can't wait until the next time.
Dad made steak for dinner. That was pretty cool. Though I can't eat veggies yet, being able to have the meat is enjoyable. Mom and I spent another evening together. I think we're back to the point of being ready to get a cute apartment together. It was a slow evening. We watched some older food movie. I remember not really liking it the first time I saw it. I'm just not a Cathrerine Zeta Jones fan and the guy in it is NOT attractive. Around eight thirty or so I found Singin' in the Rain on TCM. Score. Gene Kelly is so dreamy. Oh how I wish they made men like him these days. After that was Fred Astaire and Cyd Charisse in The Band Wagon. Ok...I wish they made men like Gene Kelly and I wish I were more like Cyd Charisse. Talk about glamor and legs that went on forever. It's always been a dream of mine to have nice legs. Now that my skin seems to be getting a bit better, it seems more attainable. However, they'd need to be slender and about 4 inches longer. Oh well. A girl can dream :) Simply lovely day. Hurray!
Song of the Day:
Verse of the Day: James 1:2-4
Day Sixty with Cancer
Day Sixty with Cancer/Day Forty-One without Cancer:
Is it already Saturday again? That doesn't seem right. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'll take a Saturday...it just doesn't seem possible already. Today was such a lazy day. It was the only day that I didn't have anything special planned. I was going to go out and ask for donations, but I ended up staying in and washing clothes most of the day. At least I got some things accomplished. I have to admit, I was a little down today. That seems to happen when I'm not insanely busy with things. Time with my thoughts is not good for me. I'm trying to do what a certain someone always encouraged me to do, and keep my thoughts captive. At least I'm noticing when it's happening and I'm getting to a point in my walk where I see it and I'm able to pray about it. I hope that eventually I can find that I don't have those thoughts at all, but at least I seem to be maturing a bit. (I hope) I still often feel like a baby Christian. Thankfully, God has been teaching me and showing me things in these past several weeks.
Got to hang out with mom after she got home. She made grilled cheese. :) I don't like Saturdays when mom has to work. It doesn't seem right. I enjoy my weekends with her. I also think we'd accomplish a lot more if we had time off together. *sigh* At least we'll have Friday.
Song of the Day:
Verse of the Day:
Is it already Saturday again? That doesn't seem right. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'll take a Saturday...it just doesn't seem possible already. Today was such a lazy day. It was the only day that I didn't have anything special planned. I was going to go out and ask for donations, but I ended up staying in and washing clothes most of the day. At least I got some things accomplished. I have to admit, I was a little down today. That seems to happen when I'm not insanely busy with things. Time with my thoughts is not good for me. I'm trying to do what a certain someone always encouraged me to do, and keep my thoughts captive. At least I'm noticing when it's happening and I'm getting to a point in my walk where I see it and I'm able to pray about it. I hope that eventually I can find that I don't have those thoughts at all, but at least I seem to be maturing a bit. (I hope) I still often feel like a baby Christian. Thankfully, God has been teaching me and showing me things in these past several weeks.
Got to hang out with mom after she got home. She made grilled cheese. :) I don't like Saturdays when mom has to work. It doesn't seem right. I enjoy my weekends with her. I also think we'd accomplish a lot more if we had time off together. *sigh* At least we'll have Friday.
Song of the Day:
Verse of the Day:
Day Fifty-Nine with Cancer
Day Fifty-Nine with Cancer/Day Forty without Cancer:
It was so delightful going to small group yesterday...even if it was for a short while. I love being with those people. We seem to understand each other. Maybe we don't, but I feel like we do. Plus, where else can you go to eat pie and chips and no one looks down on you? lol. Praise the Lord for good friends. After that, I went to Adam's house and we put on Wizard of Oz. It's funny...we really didn't watch much of it. We were discussing his cabaret, my benefit, and watching Judy stuff on youtube. It was a nice relaxing time.
Today was work in the afternoon. I went by Wal Mart afterward to exchange a sun dress mom had purchased. Never again will I go to customer service on a Friday. Everyone and their mother was there to cash their checks. I waited for well over an hour to exchange dresses. I grabbed Gnomeo and Juliet to take to Amber's house. We've been talking about watching that together for a really long time. I'm surprised neither of us have seen it yet. I don't think either of us were expecting too much, but it was such a cute movie. We both really enjoyed it. We were laughing for most of the movie. I think that's one of those movies I'm going to have to purchase. We took pictures of our gnomes watching the movie. It was adorable. I stayed and spoke with Amber and her mother for quite some time about all the things we could do for the benefit and who I should talk to about donations. We had pizza and ice cream :) Yum!
Seriously fabulous day! Yay!
Song of the Day:
Verse of the Day:
It was so delightful going to small group yesterday...even if it was for a short while. I love being with those people. We seem to understand each other. Maybe we don't, but I feel like we do. Plus, where else can you go to eat pie and chips and no one looks down on you? lol. Praise the Lord for good friends. After that, I went to Adam's house and we put on Wizard of Oz. It's funny...we really didn't watch much of it. We were discussing his cabaret, my benefit, and watching Judy stuff on youtube. It was a nice relaxing time.
Today was work in the afternoon. I went by Wal Mart afterward to exchange a sun dress mom had purchased. Never again will I go to customer service on a Friday. Everyone and their mother was there to cash their checks. I waited for well over an hour to exchange dresses. I grabbed Gnomeo and Juliet to take to Amber's house. We've been talking about watching that together for a really long time. I'm surprised neither of us have seen it yet. I don't think either of us were expecting too much, but it was such a cute movie. We both really enjoyed it. We were laughing for most of the movie. I think that's one of those movies I'm going to have to purchase. We took pictures of our gnomes watching the movie. It was adorable. I stayed and spoke with Amber and her mother for quite some time about all the things we could do for the benefit and who I should talk to about donations. We had pizza and ice cream :) Yum!
Seriously fabulous day! Yay!
Song of the Day:
Verse of the Day:
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Day Fifty-Eight with Cancer
Day Fifty-Eight with Cancer/Day Thirty-Nine without Cancer:
I am so over this day. Ok...it really has nothing to do with this "day" exactly, it's just the circumstances that keep occuring that are making me discouraged. I absolutely hate the amount of spiritual warfare that is going on in our church/school. I'm the second teacher diagnosed with cancer. One of our kids was diagnosed and that situation is not going as well as I'd hope. Her family is also having difficulty. There is a third teacher who may have something going on...she has to get biopsied and see what it might be. I don't know if we can handle more cancer here. It's so upsetting. On top of all that,multiple people have lost employment and my boss's father had a stroke today. It just seems as though every family has something really serious happening. How are we able to still minister to other people when we can barely stay afloat? I've been very optimistic and hopeful so far, but I have to admit, I'm getting discouraged.
I'd like to see God just say, "OK. That's enough. You guys have been faithful so here are better jobs, here is better health than you've ever had, here is the money you've never had the opportunity to keep/make...I know it was hard, but I just asked you to wait and you did." Yes, I know that's a lot to ask for. Things...to put it plainly...are not fair. I just want to see God's people lifted up. I want, for once, to see good things happen to good people. I'd like to be able to be in a position financially where I can help my friends who are in need, whether that means money, food, gas, babysitting...whatever.
Satan started attacking my dreams again last night. I'm not sure why he feels it necessarry to do that, but it got old a long time ago. I think I'm going to have to really just become a prayer warrior. Satan obviously is scared of me. I don't yet understand why, but I'm hoping that the Lord will reveal that to me soon. If he IS scared, there has to be a big reason. I know that God wants to use me for something big, but I don't know what exactly what and I've always felt that way, but nothing has happened yet...that starts to make a person think that they were wrong. Let me tell you though, Satan is lucky he's not a physical being...he'd be getting a serious punch in the throat right now. For real. Well, I think I'm going to continue looking for a dress and possibly a hair cut before I go to small group and meet Adam for Oz night! :)
Song of the Day: Under Pressure-Queen
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a01QQZyl-_I
Verse of the Day: Deuteronomy 31:6
So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.
I am so over this day. Ok...it really has nothing to do with this "day" exactly, it's just the circumstances that keep occuring that are making me discouraged. I absolutely hate the amount of spiritual warfare that is going on in our church/school. I'm the second teacher diagnosed with cancer. One of our kids was diagnosed and that situation is not going as well as I'd hope. Her family is also having difficulty. There is a third teacher who may have something going on...she has to get biopsied and see what it might be. I don't know if we can handle more cancer here. It's so upsetting. On top of all that,multiple people have lost employment and my boss's father had a stroke today. It just seems as though every family has something really serious happening. How are we able to still minister to other people when we can barely stay afloat? I've been very optimistic and hopeful so far, but I have to admit, I'm getting discouraged.
I'd like to see God just say, "OK. That's enough. You guys have been faithful so here are better jobs, here is better health than you've ever had, here is the money you've never had the opportunity to keep/make...I know it was hard, but I just asked you to wait and you did." Yes, I know that's a lot to ask for. Things...to put it plainly...are not fair. I just want to see God's people lifted up. I want, for once, to see good things happen to good people. I'd like to be able to be in a position financially where I can help my friends who are in need, whether that means money, food, gas, babysitting...whatever.
Satan started attacking my dreams again last night. I'm not sure why he feels it necessarry to do that, but it got old a long time ago. I think I'm going to have to really just become a prayer warrior. Satan obviously is scared of me. I don't yet understand why, but I'm hoping that the Lord will reveal that to me soon. If he IS scared, there has to be a big reason. I know that God wants to use me for something big, but I don't know what exactly what and I've always felt that way, but nothing has happened yet...that starts to make a person think that they were wrong. Let me tell you though, Satan is lucky he's not a physical being...he'd be getting a serious punch in the throat right now. For real. Well, I think I'm going to continue looking for a dress and possibly a hair cut before I go to small group and meet Adam for Oz night! :)
Song of the Day: Under Pressure-Queen
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a01QQZyl-_I
Verse of the Day: Deuteronomy 31:6
So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.
Day Fifty-Seven with Cancer
Day Fifty-Seven with Cancer/Day Thirty-Eight with Cancer:
Another training day today, however we didn't do anything. I got here and since there wasn't really anything to work on, Mim just left early. Productive day today. Again, we were able to get stuff done fairly early. I got out of the office right at 6. Lovely! I decided to stop at Pat Catan's after work. I was looking for a ribbon stamp, but sadly they didn't have any. I ended up getting some actual blue ribbon, pins, ink, and posts for jewelry. Hopefully I can get some things done and ready to go before the benefit. I don't know if anyone else cares at all about having that kind of thing, but I think it would be cool to have some stuff. It made me a little sad to see that there was breast cancer stuff EVERYWHERE, but where is the stuff for colon, thyroid, childhood, ovarian, brain, stomach, pancreatic, and every other kind of cancer? I feel like it's just popular to do the "pink" thing. Don't get me wrong, pink is my favorite color, but I'm more of a blue and purple girl now. Blue is the color for colon cancer, but purple is the color for survivors. If you've had cancer or loved someone who has, every day you're alive, you're a survivor.
Today was the first (and probably only) day that I will go straight home. It was almost sad. I'm starting to get used to hanging out with people all the time. I was able to get in some quality time with the Mater though. We watched SYTYCD while we talked about what kind of appetizers and desserts we are going to make for the benefit. Yikes! I'm starting to get nervous. I feel like there's no way we're going to get everything done in less than a week once we get back. It's a little frightening. We'll get it done though. I have faith that it'll turn out nicely. Let's pray!
Song of the Day: Body Language-Queen
Verse of the Day: Isaiah 40:31
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.
Another training day today, however we didn't do anything. I got here and since there wasn't really anything to work on, Mim just left early. Productive day today. Again, we were able to get stuff done fairly early. I got out of the office right at 6. Lovely! I decided to stop at Pat Catan's after work. I was looking for a ribbon stamp, but sadly they didn't have any. I ended up getting some actual blue ribbon, pins, ink, and posts for jewelry. Hopefully I can get some things done and ready to go before the benefit. I don't know if anyone else cares at all about having that kind of thing, but I think it would be cool to have some stuff. It made me a little sad to see that there was breast cancer stuff EVERYWHERE, but where is the stuff for colon, thyroid, childhood, ovarian, brain, stomach, pancreatic, and every other kind of cancer? I feel like it's just popular to do the "pink" thing. Don't get me wrong, pink is my favorite color, but I'm more of a blue and purple girl now. Blue is the color for colon cancer, but purple is the color for survivors. If you've had cancer or loved someone who has, every day you're alive, you're a survivor.
Today was the first (and probably only) day that I will go straight home. It was almost sad. I'm starting to get used to hanging out with people all the time. I was able to get in some quality time with the Mater though. We watched SYTYCD while we talked about what kind of appetizers and desserts we are going to make for the benefit. Yikes! I'm starting to get nervous. I feel like there's no way we're going to get everything done in less than a week once we get back. It's a little frightening. We'll get it done though. I have faith that it'll turn out nicely. Let's pray!
Song of the Day: Body Language-Queen
Verse of the Day: Isaiah 40:31
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.
Day Fifty-Six with Cancer
Day Fifty-Six with Cancer/Day Thirty-Seven without Cancer:
Yet another crazy day! Thankfully, I was able to sleep in a bit this morning. I so enjoy those days. I think I might be sleeping a tiny bit better. Work was fairly slow. All the kids were gone by around 5:40PM and I think we got out five or ten minutes later. That never happens. Summer has been different. We don't have as many kids as we do during the school year, and not as many kids as we had planned on having. On the way home Crime of the Century was on Sirus. It made me smile like crazy. I seriously loved doing Ragtime. Yes, it was a difficult period, but that show and the people in it were just awesome.
After work I went home and discussed benefit stuff with mom. I was just about to go work on typing up a letter to send to people when there was a knock at the door. My friend Travis was 30 minutes early. We went and got ice cream and took it to Lakeshore Park. It was supposed to be rainy this evening, but it was beautiful. It's been a while since I've just sat at the lake. We found some big rocks and just chatted while the waves crashed on the rocks. Can you say they "crashed"? It's only a lake... Anyway, it was a lovely time with lovely conversation. It was also really refreshing to be able to be near water that's not falling from the sky. There has just been so much rain lately. I'd like to be able to go out and get a tan at some point before fall! Even better, I'd like to get a tan before the end of July. I don't want to still look sickly for this benefit.
P.S. I'm loving hanging out with friends I haven't seen in ages. Yes, I'm not doing theatre right now, but somehow my schedule is packed and I couldn't be happier about that. :D
Song of the Day: Don't Stop Me Now (I love Freddy...)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgzGwKwLmgM
Verse of the Day: Galatians 6:9
So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up.
Yet another crazy day! Thankfully, I was able to sleep in a bit this morning. I so enjoy those days. I think I might be sleeping a tiny bit better. Work was fairly slow. All the kids were gone by around 5:40PM and I think we got out five or ten minutes later. That never happens. Summer has been different. We don't have as many kids as we do during the school year, and not as many kids as we had planned on having. On the way home Crime of the Century was on Sirus. It made me smile like crazy. I seriously loved doing Ragtime. Yes, it was a difficult period, but that show and the people in it were just awesome.
After work I went home and discussed benefit stuff with mom. I was just about to go work on typing up a letter to send to people when there was a knock at the door. My friend Travis was 30 minutes early. We went and got ice cream and took it to Lakeshore Park. It was supposed to be rainy this evening, but it was beautiful. It's been a while since I've just sat at the lake. We found some big rocks and just chatted while the waves crashed on the rocks. Can you say they "crashed"? It's only a lake... Anyway, it was a lovely time with lovely conversation. It was also really refreshing to be able to be near water that's not falling from the sky. There has just been so much rain lately. I'd like to be able to go out and get a tan at some point before fall! Even better, I'd like to get a tan before the end of July. I don't want to still look sickly for this benefit.
P.S. I'm loving hanging out with friends I haven't seen in ages. Yes, I'm not doing theatre right now, but somehow my schedule is packed and I couldn't be happier about that. :D
Song of the Day: Don't Stop Me Now (I love Freddy...)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgzGwKwLmgM
Verse of the Day: Galatians 6:9
So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Day Fifty-Five with Cancer
Day Fifty-Five with Cancer/Day Thirty-Six without Cancer:
Today was another training day with Mim. We worked on putting the hours in for the county kids. Thankfully, that seems as though it's something I can do fairly easily. I worked on the huge piles of shredding and was almost done with ONE at the end of the day. There has to be a better way to do this. Work actually went pretty well and pretty quickly. I guess that's all I can hope for.
After work, I went over to Sarah's house. We were having a sister night. She made us breakfast for dinner. We had eggs, toast and turkey bacon. Yummy. I'm such a breakfast girl. We were able to sit and chat for a bit. Somehow it kept going back to the movie we were about to watch. I had to stop and get some cash so I drove us to the ATM. The entire bank parking lot was full of geese...there were lots of new ones too. I was doing my best to make sure none of them were hurt, but the guy that came in after me just ploughed through them. First of all, you don't drive that fast in a parking lot PERIOD. Secondly, let's be considerate to the animals...or maybe someone should run you over with a car. Yes, that's a little harsh, but really...they didn't do anything to him. We got to the movie theatre at the perfect time. I bought our tickets ($3 a piece) and then we got snacks. I figure if it was always under ten dollars for two tickets and snacks, I could go to the movies far more frequently. We tried to avoid all the unruly children who were just dropped off by their parents, and opted to sit a little closer to the screen than usual. This worked out just fine considering we were watching James McAvoy. X Men-First Class was fantastic! Yes, it's full of attractive men, but all of it was great. The story was great, the casting was awesome...there were moments when you went, "Wow. They really do look like a younger..." Needless to say, Sarah and I had an awesome time. We even had moments of leaning over to say the same thing at the same time. :) I think that will be on the agenda again very soon. I'm guessing Green Lantern will be the next movie. Yes, we're total geeks and I'm ok with that.
After I got home I had some nice conversations with some old friends. It's so refreshing to be in contact with all of these people that I haven't been able to speak with much lately. I'm just happy to have people in my life who love me for me. It means a lot. Perfect day! :)
Song of the Day: Sisters-White Christmas
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTef_onLNnw
Verse of the Day: Psalm 133:1
How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!
Today was another training day with Mim. We worked on putting the hours in for the county kids. Thankfully, that seems as though it's something I can do fairly easily. I worked on the huge piles of shredding and was almost done with ONE at the end of the day. There has to be a better way to do this. Work actually went pretty well and pretty quickly. I guess that's all I can hope for.
After work, I went over to Sarah's house. We were having a sister night. She made us breakfast for dinner. We had eggs, toast and turkey bacon. Yummy. I'm such a breakfast girl. We were able to sit and chat for a bit. Somehow it kept going back to the movie we were about to watch. I had to stop and get some cash so I drove us to the ATM. The entire bank parking lot was full of geese...there were lots of new ones too. I was doing my best to make sure none of them were hurt, but the guy that came in after me just ploughed through them. First of all, you don't drive that fast in a parking lot PERIOD. Secondly, let's be considerate to the animals...or maybe someone should run you over with a car. Yes, that's a little harsh, but really...they didn't do anything to him. We got to the movie theatre at the perfect time. I bought our tickets ($3 a piece) and then we got snacks. I figure if it was always under ten dollars for two tickets and snacks, I could go to the movies far more frequently. We tried to avoid all the unruly children who were just dropped off by their parents, and opted to sit a little closer to the screen than usual. This worked out just fine considering we were watching James McAvoy. X Men-First Class was fantastic! Yes, it's full of attractive men, but all of it was great. The story was great, the casting was awesome...there were moments when you went, "Wow. They really do look like a younger..." Needless to say, Sarah and I had an awesome time. We even had moments of leaning over to say the same thing at the same time. :) I think that will be on the agenda again very soon. I'm guessing Green Lantern will be the next movie. Yes, we're total geeks and I'm ok with that.
After I got home I had some nice conversations with some old friends. It's so refreshing to be in contact with all of these people that I haven't been able to speak with much lately. I'm just happy to have people in my life who love me for me. It means a lot. Perfect day! :)
Song of the Day: Sisters-White Christmas
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTef_onLNnw
Verse of the Day: Psalm 133:1
How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!
Day Fifty-Four with Cancer
Day Fifty-Four with Cancer/Day Thirty-Five without Cancer:
Hello Sunday. There was a little stress this morning, as I woke up late. Ugh. I hate when that happens. Once you're already late, everything that could happen to make you later inevitably will. Somehow I still made it to church and still got some worship in before pastor started. Not sure how that happened. It was the day where we go over our yearly report, so there wasn't a message that really challenged me, but it was awesome to see how God has been working in the church over the past year.
I was so thankful that I was able to meet with a friend after service today. I haven't seen Troy in years. It was so nice to be able to catch up. We got ice cream and sat outside in the sun. This didn't do well for his cone, which melted all over his hand and the table. His sister was married yesterday. We're both very surprised at how life is going by so quickly, with everyone we know getting married and having children. It's odd.
Sarah, Jeff and the boys were still at my house when I got home. I'm glad. I was hoping to catch them before they left. I love lazy afternoons with my family. It's nice to be able to sit outside and just talk. They left before too long though and mom and dad had to leave for a funeral. Before they left, mom asked me about someone who donated on the website. I finally figured out that it must have happened today. It turns out it was a child and parent from the school where I used to teach. They were very dear to me. I'm still not sure how they found out, but I'm very grateful for the email and the donation that they sent. I'm going to have to get their email address from my brother and thank them. I miss the kids from the other school. They were a big part of my life.
I took a nap and had some crazy dreams and then did a little work on the computer before I got a call from Miss Ruple. Oh how I miss her. It's difficult when you're not able to see your best friend much. I'm surprised she still speaks to me. Apparently, Chicago is going very well. It's great to see her and Hannah so excited about it. I kept hearing about this choreographer coming in from somewhere else and how great he was. I just found out a couple of days ago that it's Ken Gasch. What a blast from the past. I told Sarah that I was going to have to come and crash rehearsals so that I could see him before he went back. It's funny that he, Jordan and Linda are all involved in Rabbit Run this year. I guess I have always considered them to be "Ashtabula" people, and here they are doing a Madison production. I suppose I should be going.
Happy Father's Day.
Song of the Day:Your Daddy's Son
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkK2ckL3_IY
Verse of the Day: Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Hello Sunday. There was a little stress this morning, as I woke up late. Ugh. I hate when that happens. Once you're already late, everything that could happen to make you later inevitably will. Somehow I still made it to church and still got some worship in before pastor started. Not sure how that happened. It was the day where we go over our yearly report, so there wasn't a message that really challenged me, but it was awesome to see how God has been working in the church over the past year.
I was so thankful that I was able to meet with a friend after service today. I haven't seen Troy in years. It was so nice to be able to catch up. We got ice cream and sat outside in the sun. This didn't do well for his cone, which melted all over his hand and the table. His sister was married yesterday. We're both very surprised at how life is going by so quickly, with everyone we know getting married and having children. It's odd.
Sarah, Jeff and the boys were still at my house when I got home. I'm glad. I was hoping to catch them before they left. I love lazy afternoons with my family. It's nice to be able to sit outside and just talk. They left before too long though and mom and dad had to leave for a funeral. Before they left, mom asked me about someone who donated on the website. I finally figured out that it must have happened today. It turns out it was a child and parent from the school where I used to teach. They were very dear to me. I'm still not sure how they found out, but I'm very grateful for the email and the donation that they sent. I'm going to have to get their email address from my brother and thank them. I miss the kids from the other school. They were a big part of my life.
I took a nap and had some crazy dreams and then did a little work on the computer before I got a call from Miss Ruple. Oh how I miss her. It's difficult when you're not able to see your best friend much. I'm surprised she still speaks to me. Apparently, Chicago is going very well. It's great to see her and Hannah so excited about it. I kept hearing about this choreographer coming in from somewhere else and how great he was. I just found out a couple of days ago that it's Ken Gasch. What a blast from the past. I told Sarah that I was going to have to come and crash rehearsals so that I could see him before he went back. It's funny that he, Jordan and Linda are all involved in Rabbit Run this year. I guess I have always considered them to be "Ashtabula" people, and here they are doing a Madison production. I suppose I should be going.
Happy Father's Day.
Song of the Day:Your Daddy's Son
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkK2ckL3_IY
Verse of the Day: Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Day Fifty-Three with Cancer
Day Fifty-Three with Cancer/Day Thirty-Four without Cancer:
Last night was awesome! I honestly was a little worried about how my "health" was going to be, so I wasn't expecting to have as much fun as I did. The weather was very cooperative, which was wonderful. It was pretty warm, but not too hot and it didn't get cold like I thought it was going to. I never even had to put on my hoodie. It was a pretty good game. We were close for the majority of it and then toward the end pulled ahead. It's always nice to go to a game and have your team win. :) There were some stinking fantastic fireworks afterward. I was really impressed. I don't know what I thought they were going to be, but I didn't figure they'd be as big as they were. Since they were paired up with 80's music, they were even better. It was fun to hear everyone singing along with them and commenting on which fireworks they liked the best. After the fireworks we walked back to the truck. We ended up sitting in the parking garage for probably an hour-hour and a half. Thankfully, even that was entertaining. The plan was to go and eat ice cream afterward, but since it was so late at that point, nothing was open. We ended up going to Giant Eagle and picking up some small things and spoons and having a tail gate party. It was good fun.
This morning I was a little slow in getting up. I knew that I had plans with my sister one way or another, but I was still pretty tired. I called around 10:30 and shortly thereafter we decided we'd still go to the zoo with the boys. When I got to the house the boys were so excited. I don't think Caleb realized I was going to the zoo with them. We stopped at McDonalds before we went. I got nuggets. I also realized how much better Wendy's is than McDonalds. We got there and were unsure of where to go when we got there since this was the first time as members. The first thing we saw was the new elephant exhibit. I've missed them since they had been gone. We then intended upon going up to the cats, monkeys and fish, but we got on the wrong tram and went to the other side of the zoo. Needless to say, that changed our plan of action. We saw the wolves, polar bear, and then the seals and sea lions. We were able to watch all of them train. It was kind of awesome. I'm a big fan of sea lions. They're just so sweet. They're like giant dogs.
We worked our way over to the fish and cats one exhibit at a time. We stopped for some photo opps and went to see the giraffes and butterflies. We then saw the flamingoes, which were cracking me up. They were all standing in the mud and one just kept doing this little dance. It was so interesting to watch them. They were making their nests, covering up their eggs with the mud and packing it down. I found it very interesting. Sarah and I weren't sure we were going to make it up the hill, but we did! The boys made us take the stairs as well. I told Sarah we were going to have nice rear ends after we were done. :) The boys had so much fun watching the fish and the monkeys. Some of the commentary was just too funny for words. Caleb found the little dance floor area and started busting a move. We went to see the gorillas and then hopped the tram to ride down the hill. Yes, we were lazy this time. We got a few more pics and then started back to the car. We stopped at Old Navy on the way home, hoping to find some inexpensive summer dresses, but there was nothing except the $30 ones. Boo for that. I was really looking forward to finding something cool and flowy to wear.
After we got back to Sarah's, I left to go to Jason and Jenny's. They won't be at church tomorrow, so I took her Pampered Chef stuff over. She also said she had a surprise for me that she seemed to be pretty excited about. Syd was hilarious. She was way snuggly. She kept saying "Ali" and at one point she even said "auntie". What a funny little girl. I love her. They had me sit down in a chair and Jason got out his movie camera. I'll admit, that scared me a little bit. I wasn't sure what to expect. I was so pleasantly surprised. One of the vendors who have donated for the benefit, The Saddleback Leather Company, not only donated a piece to auction off, but sent me a tote bag as well. At first I was thinking that Jason and Jenny got me something and I was about to hurt them, but they told me what happened and then I read a three page letter that was included in the bag. The CEO's wife had colon cancer and wrote about some of her experiences. Praise God for those people. They are blessed and freely bless others with what they have. That is inspiring. I only pray that someday I can be in the same position. I have to write a lengthy thank you letter to all of them. I spent a while longer with Jenny and Syd. Jason had to leave for some OT. I am blessed to have such a wonderful, loving family. When the time comes where God wants me somewhere else and working on music, being away from them is going to be the hardest thing for me. I love them very much. At least I have them and I have this time with them. Thank you, Jesus.
Song of the Day: Single Ladies (This was what we were dancing to on the way home from the zoo)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4m1EFMoRFvY
Verse of the Day: Proverbs 19:20
Get all the advice and instruction that you can, so you will be wise the rest of your life.
Last night was awesome! I honestly was a little worried about how my "health" was going to be, so I wasn't expecting to have as much fun as I did. The weather was very cooperative, which was wonderful. It was pretty warm, but not too hot and it didn't get cold like I thought it was going to. I never even had to put on my hoodie. It was a pretty good game. We were close for the majority of it and then toward the end pulled ahead. It's always nice to go to a game and have your team win. :) There were some stinking fantastic fireworks afterward. I was really impressed. I don't know what I thought they were going to be, but I didn't figure they'd be as big as they were. Since they were paired up with 80's music, they were even better. It was fun to hear everyone singing along with them and commenting on which fireworks they liked the best. After the fireworks we walked back to the truck. We ended up sitting in the parking garage for probably an hour-hour and a half. Thankfully, even that was entertaining. The plan was to go and eat ice cream afterward, but since it was so late at that point, nothing was open. We ended up going to Giant Eagle and picking up some small things and spoons and having a tail gate party. It was good fun.
This morning I was a little slow in getting up. I knew that I had plans with my sister one way or another, but I was still pretty tired. I called around 10:30 and shortly thereafter we decided we'd still go to the zoo with the boys. When I got to the house the boys were so excited. I don't think Caleb realized I was going to the zoo with them. We stopped at McDonalds before we went. I got nuggets. I also realized how much better Wendy's is than McDonalds. We got there and were unsure of where to go when we got there since this was the first time as members. The first thing we saw was the new elephant exhibit. I've missed them since they had been gone. We then intended upon going up to the cats, monkeys and fish, but we got on the wrong tram and went to the other side of the zoo. Needless to say, that changed our plan of action. We saw the wolves, polar bear, and then the seals and sea lions. We were able to watch all of them train. It was kind of awesome. I'm a big fan of sea lions. They're just so sweet. They're like giant dogs.
We worked our way over to the fish and cats one exhibit at a time. We stopped for some photo opps and went to see the giraffes and butterflies. We then saw the flamingoes, which were cracking me up. They were all standing in the mud and one just kept doing this little dance. It was so interesting to watch them. They were making their nests, covering up their eggs with the mud and packing it down. I found it very interesting. Sarah and I weren't sure we were going to make it up the hill, but we did! The boys made us take the stairs as well. I told Sarah we were going to have nice rear ends after we were done. :) The boys had so much fun watching the fish and the monkeys. Some of the commentary was just too funny for words. Caleb found the little dance floor area and started busting a move. We went to see the gorillas and then hopped the tram to ride down the hill. Yes, we were lazy this time. We got a few more pics and then started back to the car. We stopped at Old Navy on the way home, hoping to find some inexpensive summer dresses, but there was nothing except the $30 ones. Boo for that. I was really looking forward to finding something cool and flowy to wear.
After we got back to Sarah's, I left to go to Jason and Jenny's. They won't be at church tomorrow, so I took her Pampered Chef stuff over. She also said she had a surprise for me that she seemed to be pretty excited about. Syd was hilarious. She was way snuggly. She kept saying "Ali" and at one point she even said "auntie". What a funny little girl. I love her. They had me sit down in a chair and Jason got out his movie camera. I'll admit, that scared me a little bit. I wasn't sure what to expect. I was so pleasantly surprised. One of the vendors who have donated for the benefit, The Saddleback Leather Company, not only donated a piece to auction off, but sent me a tote bag as well. At first I was thinking that Jason and Jenny got me something and I was about to hurt them, but they told me what happened and then I read a three page letter that was included in the bag. The CEO's wife had colon cancer and wrote about some of her experiences. Praise God for those people. They are blessed and freely bless others with what they have. That is inspiring. I only pray that someday I can be in the same position. I have to write a lengthy thank you letter to all of them. I spent a while longer with Jenny and Syd. Jason had to leave for some OT. I am blessed to have such a wonderful, loving family. When the time comes where God wants me somewhere else and working on music, being away from them is going to be the hardest thing for me. I love them very much. At least I have them and I have this time with them. Thank you, Jesus.
Song of the Day: Single Ladies (This was what we were dancing to on the way home from the zoo)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4m1EFMoRFvY
Verse of the Day: Proverbs 19:20
Get all the advice and instruction that you can, so you will be wise the rest of your life.
Day Fifty-Two with Cancer
Day Fifty-Two with Cancer/Day Thirty-Three without Cancer:
Hey! It's Friday! I know I can't be the only person really excited about that!
This morning had all kinds of intentions that never were accomplished. This morning I was going to do a huge skin process with exfoliating and lotion to continue the beautification process. Yeah...that didn't happen. I was actually sleeping fairly well, so I had no desire to wake up earlier than I needed to. I was also going to drop Sarah's Pampered Chef stuff at her house and then didn't have time. I'm a bad sister. I'll have to try and do that after work. I guess I'll still be seeing her tomorrow.
Work has been interesting. There are four absolutely enormous piles of shredding to be done. It's taking an extra long time because the shredder is pretty small and it keeps getting too hot. I'm guessing I probably won't be able to finish it today. One wonderful thing that happened since I've been here is that Dr. French's office called and they're going to donate something! I'm so excited! People have really been so wonderful to do whatever they can to help. I'm just praying that some (hopefully ALL) of the bills can be waived. I wish we could figure out what's going on with my applications and stuff. Watching the bills accumulate is starting to make me anxious. Right now, in addition to the bills from before, I'm looking at arounf $140,000. Seriously? I could by myself a house with that money. Oh well, God will provide. I guess it's the what and when that I keep thinking about. I shouldn't let those questions distract me from the promises that I know to be true.
Tonight I'm going to the Indians game. I'm kind of excited. I haven't been to a ball game for I think 4 years. I have to admit, I'm a little concerned about getting to my seat where it's high and narrow and then passing out cause I've been getting so dizzy when I stand up. Oh how embarrassing to go to stand and fall on someone and/or roll all the way down the stands. It's dollar dog night and I can't even eat one. I also can't have a soda. Seriously...what the heck? That takes some of the fun out of being at a ball game. I guess I'll have to get nachos or a soft pretzel. Oooh! They sell ice cream too...I could get that. I hear there are 80's themed fireworks tonight. How epic. I'm hoping it doesn't get too cold. I'm a freeze baby and I just brought a hoodie for later. Well, I guess I'll update tomorrow on the rest of the evening.
Song of the Day: Friday (Lol terrible song, but it makes me laugh)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ey-VNes5YQs
Verse of the Day: Ephesians 5:20
...always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Hey! It's Friday! I know I can't be the only person really excited about that!
This morning had all kinds of intentions that never were accomplished. This morning I was going to do a huge skin process with exfoliating and lotion to continue the beautification process. Yeah...that didn't happen. I was actually sleeping fairly well, so I had no desire to wake up earlier than I needed to. I was also going to drop Sarah's Pampered Chef stuff at her house and then didn't have time. I'm a bad sister. I'll have to try and do that after work. I guess I'll still be seeing her tomorrow.
Work has been interesting. There are four absolutely enormous piles of shredding to be done. It's taking an extra long time because the shredder is pretty small and it keeps getting too hot. I'm guessing I probably won't be able to finish it today. One wonderful thing that happened since I've been here is that Dr. French's office called and they're going to donate something! I'm so excited! People have really been so wonderful to do whatever they can to help. I'm just praying that some (hopefully ALL) of the bills can be waived. I wish we could figure out what's going on with my applications and stuff. Watching the bills accumulate is starting to make me anxious. Right now, in addition to the bills from before, I'm looking at arounf $140,000. Seriously? I could by myself a house with that money. Oh well, God will provide. I guess it's the what and when that I keep thinking about. I shouldn't let those questions distract me from the promises that I know to be true.
Tonight I'm going to the Indians game. I'm kind of excited. I haven't been to a ball game for I think 4 years. I have to admit, I'm a little concerned about getting to my seat where it's high and narrow and then passing out cause I've been getting so dizzy when I stand up. Oh how embarrassing to go to stand and fall on someone and/or roll all the way down the stands. It's dollar dog night and I can't even eat one. I also can't have a soda. Seriously...what the heck? That takes some of the fun out of being at a ball game. I guess I'll have to get nachos or a soft pretzel. Oooh! They sell ice cream too...I could get that. I hear there are 80's themed fireworks tonight. How epic. I'm hoping it doesn't get too cold. I'm a freeze baby and I just brought a hoodie for later. Well, I guess I'll update tomorrow on the rest of the evening.
Song of the Day: Friday (Lol terrible song, but it makes me laugh)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ey-VNes5YQs
Verse of the Day: Ephesians 5:20
...always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Day Fifty-One with Cancer
Day Fifty-One with Cancer/Day Thirty-Two without Cancer:
This morning was my first one back with the kids. I was able to do music class today and I have to say, I really enjoyed it. My voice was toast afterward, but the kids and I had fun, and I actually had the energy to do it. It felt good to be able to get up and dance around to Father Abraham and not feel like I was going to pass out.
I was able to get all the Pampered Chef stuff out of my car with a little help. Now the office is completely full of kitchen products. I'm just floored by the amount of people that bought stuff. It's awesome. I was super excited to get my prep bowls and tart pan. I know it's stupid, but I enjoy baking. I HATE cooking, but baking is different.
After I got everything into the church, I went to Sarah's and worked on getting some more stuff done for the benefit. I found some things that we might like to order so that we can sell them AND I got two more confirmations including Jason Falkofsky as our pianist and the lovely Maria Thomas Lister will sing a few songs. I can't wait for all of these incredible people to be in one place. It's going to be phenominal. I am pumped about the amount of talent that will be in the same room.
I went back to work in the office and there was a huge stack of shredding to be done. I decided while I was doing that and working on some other things that I was ready to make myself pretty. Since I had lost a few pounds because of the surgery and my vitamins are starting to make my skin soft, I want a kind of make-over. I figure I might be able to be kind of pretty now... So, I decided I was going to get my nails done tonight and scheduled an appointment for as soon as I was out of work.
It wasn't quite what I expected. I kinda thought that she'd be more friendly...or at least not be on the phone the whole time. It was also $5 more than I was told, but there's just something about having your nails done. It makes a girl feel prettier...more feminine. I bought some new mascara and a new pocket sized version of my signature fragrance and was home by 8. Lol I'm such a rebel.
Song of the Day: I Feel Pretty/Unpretty
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3R4t4rq97s
Verse of the Day: Proverbs 15:22
Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many advisers bring success.
This morning was my first one back with the kids. I was able to do music class today and I have to say, I really enjoyed it. My voice was toast afterward, but the kids and I had fun, and I actually had the energy to do it. It felt good to be able to get up and dance around to Father Abraham and not feel like I was going to pass out.
I was able to get all the Pampered Chef stuff out of my car with a little help. Now the office is completely full of kitchen products. I'm just floored by the amount of people that bought stuff. It's awesome. I was super excited to get my prep bowls and tart pan. I know it's stupid, but I enjoy baking. I HATE cooking, but baking is different.
After I got everything into the church, I went to Sarah's and worked on getting some more stuff done for the benefit. I found some things that we might like to order so that we can sell them AND I got two more confirmations including Jason Falkofsky as our pianist and the lovely Maria Thomas Lister will sing a few songs. I can't wait for all of these incredible people to be in one place. It's going to be phenominal. I am pumped about the amount of talent that will be in the same room.
I went back to work in the office and there was a huge stack of shredding to be done. I decided while I was doing that and working on some other things that I was ready to make myself pretty. Since I had lost a few pounds because of the surgery and my vitamins are starting to make my skin soft, I want a kind of make-over. I figure I might be able to be kind of pretty now... So, I decided I was going to get my nails done tonight and scheduled an appointment for as soon as I was out of work.
It wasn't quite what I expected. I kinda thought that she'd be more friendly...or at least not be on the phone the whole time. It was also $5 more than I was told, but there's just something about having your nails done. It makes a girl feel prettier...more feminine. I bought some new mascara and a new pocket sized version of my signature fragrance and was home by 8. Lol I'm such a rebel.
Song of the Day: I Feel Pretty/Unpretty
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3R4t4rq97s
Verse of the Day: Proverbs 15:22
Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many advisers bring success.
Days Forty-Nine and Fifty with Cancer
Day Fifty with Cancer/Day Thirty-One without Cancer:
What a seriously long and crazy day! I had training with Mim again and we were crazy busy all morning. I didn't have more than a few moments of down time all day. I got out at six and was going to stop for food, but was talking with Jeffrey on the phone for quite some time. He's going to help out quite a bit with the benefit. He's such a dear. I was getting my food when dad texted me and asked if I wanted to stop and have some ice cream with them. I told him I'd have to go feed the dog and let her out first, so we met 20 minutes later at Rees' drugstore. They were closed, so we ended up at Baskin Robbins. Mom and dad had eaten with grandma for her birthday. At least I got to participate in the yummy part of it. Mom and I discussed all the craziness that was going on. They took grandma back and I went home to start cleaning out my car so that we could fit all the Pampered Chef stuff in there. I started taking inventory of all of the boxes and finally found what each person ordered at the very bottom of one box. By then I figured I might as well just bag up what everyone bought and load it that way. It took from about 7:30-11. I didn't even take my shoes off until after that. Right in the middle of finding things and putting them in bags, I see a bird over by our window. I remember saying very matter of factly, "So...there's a bird in the house." I ran to get a towel and spent the next 15-20 minutes chasing this bird around the house. I can only imagine how funny it would have been to watch. I kept hopping over the baby gate (for the dog) and over and around bags of Pampered Chef products. It was sheer insanity. I was finally able to catch the bird and release it outside. We had to get back to work right after. I couldn't believe how long it took. It was nice knowing that that many people had invested in something to support me though. When we were done, I was toast. I got my pajamas on and crawled into bed. Yes, I got on the phone after that, but I was not entirely coherent. What a looooong day. And yet, it was a great one. :)
Song of the Day: Workin' for a Livin'-Huey Lewis
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9N2CANatVYQ
Verse of the Day: Proverbs 14:23
All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.
Day Forty-Nine with Cancer/ DayThirty without Cancer:
Ok...I know I went to work today...why can I remember nothing else about this day? I woke up late because I was up talking until three in the morning. I went to work until 6 and I made a stop after work. What in the world was it? I think I stopped at Giant Eagle. Yes, I'm pretty sure that's what it was. It's sad when I obviously didn't do anything very exciting, because I can't remember ANYTHING. Yikes. Not even anything to report in a blog. Lame.
Song of the Day: Lazy Song-Bruno Mars
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLexgOxsZu0
Verse of the Day: Proverbs 12:24
Work hard and become a leader; be lazy and become a slave.
What a seriously long and crazy day! I had training with Mim again and we were crazy busy all morning. I didn't have more than a few moments of down time all day. I got out at six and was going to stop for food, but was talking with Jeffrey on the phone for quite some time. He's going to help out quite a bit with the benefit. He's such a dear. I was getting my food when dad texted me and asked if I wanted to stop and have some ice cream with them. I told him I'd have to go feed the dog and let her out first, so we met 20 minutes later at Rees' drugstore. They were closed, so we ended up at Baskin Robbins. Mom and dad had eaten with grandma for her birthday. At least I got to participate in the yummy part of it. Mom and I discussed all the craziness that was going on. They took grandma back and I went home to start cleaning out my car so that we could fit all the Pampered Chef stuff in there. I started taking inventory of all of the boxes and finally found what each person ordered at the very bottom of one box. By then I figured I might as well just bag up what everyone bought and load it that way. It took from about 7:30-11. I didn't even take my shoes off until after that. Right in the middle of finding things and putting them in bags, I see a bird over by our window. I remember saying very matter of factly, "So...there's a bird in the house." I ran to get a towel and spent the next 15-20 minutes chasing this bird around the house. I can only imagine how funny it would have been to watch. I kept hopping over the baby gate (for the dog) and over and around bags of Pampered Chef products. It was sheer insanity. I was finally able to catch the bird and release it outside. We had to get back to work right after. I couldn't believe how long it took. It was nice knowing that that many people had invested in something to support me though. When we were done, I was toast. I got my pajamas on and crawled into bed. Yes, I got on the phone after that, but I was not entirely coherent. What a looooong day. And yet, it was a great one. :)
Song of the Day: Workin' for a Livin'-Huey Lewis
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9N2CANatVYQ
Verse of the Day: Proverbs 14:23
All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.
Day Forty-Nine with Cancer/ DayThirty without Cancer:
Ok...I know I went to work today...why can I remember nothing else about this day? I woke up late because I was up talking until three in the morning. I went to work until 6 and I made a stop after work. What in the world was it? I think I stopped at Giant Eagle. Yes, I'm pretty sure that's what it was. It's sad when I obviously didn't do anything very exciting, because I can't remember ANYTHING. Yikes. Not even anything to report in a blog. Lame.
Song of the Day: Lazy Song-Bruno Mars
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLexgOxsZu0
Verse of the Day: Proverbs 12:24
Work hard and become a leader; be lazy and become a slave.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Day Forty-Eight with Cancer
Day Forty-Eight with Cancer/Day Twenty-Nine without Cancer:
I think I finally got a decent night's rest last night. What a relief. I wasn't COMPLETELY EXHAUSTED today. I have to admit, that was a pretty good feeling. I had a 6 hour shift today. Not the 11 or 12 that I usually do, but it's a start. I did some QuickBooks with Miriam today. Oh how I hate that program. I guess I don't hate the program, I just hate working with other people's money. It scares the crap out of me. Mim was telling me about everything that needs to be done while she's gone and I suddenly got a weird feeling. I decided to ask her when she was going to be on vacation. I'm going to be gone two of the three weeks she's out. NOT GOOD! I know everything will get worked out, but that makes it exceedingly difficult. I spent my entire shift working on stuff. The office hours can get really boring. A lot of times there really isn't much to do. Not the case today. I put in the GFS order and spent most of the afternoon working on redoing all of the emergency books for the classrooms. Stephanie gave me a gift basket from Ladies and Gentlemen. Apparently they were going to do a silent auction at the spaghetti dinner they were going to have at church, but that fell through. She gave it to me to use, but I said we could use it as an auction item at the benefit. It does figure that I've been talking about getting my hair cut for MONTHS and now I have the opportunity, but I'd feel too guilty to take that.
I came home, ate dinner and read for most of the evening. I've been spending a lot more time reading my Bible. I think that's a great thing. I'm learning a lot and it keeps that door open for communication.
24 days until we leave for CO. Praise the Lord!
Song of the Day: Broadway Baby- Bernadette
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gl40NIfA_I&feature=related
Verse of the Day: Ephesians 2:20
Together, we are his house, built on the foundation of the apostles and the prophets. And the cornerstone is Christ Jesus himself.
I think I finally got a decent night's rest last night. What a relief. I wasn't COMPLETELY EXHAUSTED today. I have to admit, that was a pretty good feeling. I had a 6 hour shift today. Not the 11 or 12 that I usually do, but it's a start. I did some QuickBooks with Miriam today. Oh how I hate that program. I guess I don't hate the program, I just hate working with other people's money. It scares the crap out of me. Mim was telling me about everything that needs to be done while she's gone and I suddenly got a weird feeling. I decided to ask her when she was going to be on vacation. I'm going to be gone two of the three weeks she's out. NOT GOOD! I know everything will get worked out, but that makes it exceedingly difficult. I spent my entire shift working on stuff. The office hours can get really boring. A lot of times there really isn't much to do. Not the case today. I put in the GFS order and spent most of the afternoon working on redoing all of the emergency books for the classrooms. Stephanie gave me a gift basket from Ladies and Gentlemen. Apparently they were going to do a silent auction at the spaghetti dinner they were going to have at church, but that fell through. She gave it to me to use, but I said we could use it as an auction item at the benefit. It does figure that I've been talking about getting my hair cut for MONTHS and now I have the opportunity, but I'd feel too guilty to take that.
I came home, ate dinner and read for most of the evening. I've been spending a lot more time reading my Bible. I think that's a great thing. I'm learning a lot and it keeps that door open for communication.
24 days until we leave for CO. Praise the Lord!
Song of the Day: Broadway Baby- Bernadette
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gl40NIfA_I&feature=related
Verse of the Day: Ephesians 2:20
Together, we are his house, built on the foundation of the apostles and the prophets. And the cornerstone is Christ Jesus himself.
Day Forty-Seven with Cancer
Day Forty-Seven with Cancer/Day Twenty-Eight without Cancer:
What a lovely day! The church service was really great. I love hearing Pastor Terry preach. He has a wonderful ability to take our regular, everyday lives and directly pair it with biblical teachings. It's awesome to see food, super heroes, Home Improvement and other little things as tools for teaching. Sundays are always a good day for me because I get to see my family...if only for a little while. I really enjoy sitting around after service and catching up a bit. It makes me happy.
I came home from church and tried to rest for a short amount of time. That didn't work out well at all. It was about 1:40 when I got home and I wanted to head to the lake by 2:30. The Old Mill Winery was having their annual Polka Fest! I had to invite my "Polka Family" and go up there. Nick was the only one able to come, but it was worth it. We got to see Joey Tomsick play. It was chilly and windy on the lake, but there were some die hard polka fans. I stinkin love those people. I mean, there's just no unhappy polka. You can't help but feel good when it's playing. So, I got to hang with the surrogate big brother and catch up, as well as be entertained by an awesome polka band. We started getting a little too cold, so we went over to Eddie's to get a cheeseburger. I was SUPER pumped since I'm actually allowed to eat the stuff there (except for the hot dogs). I told Nick that they served the BEST cheeseburgers. He was skeptical, but two later he was convinced. I think Eddie's should cater my wedding. That would be phenomenal. We sat for a long time and discussed all kinds of things and finally left around 6.
Mom and I chatted for a while when I got home. I received a call from a local man who'd like to get me involved in all the local churches and have them take love offerings for me. He seemed very kind. I'm not sure if I want to book my entire summer and not be at my church at all, but it would be good to get back into singing regularly. I tried again to sleep...and failed again. Mom and I ended up watching the Tony Awards. How fun! I can't imagine how fantastic it would be to be nominated for one. What a huge honor that would be. Who knows...maybe someday.
Song of the Day: Being Alive-Patty LuPone
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGiJXqPtaMg
Verse of the Day: Psalm 40:3 He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God...
What a lovely day! The church service was really great. I love hearing Pastor Terry preach. He has a wonderful ability to take our regular, everyday lives and directly pair it with biblical teachings. It's awesome to see food, super heroes, Home Improvement and other little things as tools for teaching. Sundays are always a good day for me because I get to see my family...if only for a little while. I really enjoy sitting around after service and catching up a bit. It makes me happy.
I came home from church and tried to rest for a short amount of time. That didn't work out well at all. It was about 1:40 when I got home and I wanted to head to the lake by 2:30. The Old Mill Winery was having their annual Polka Fest! I had to invite my "Polka Family" and go up there. Nick was the only one able to come, but it was worth it. We got to see Joey Tomsick play. It was chilly and windy on the lake, but there were some die hard polka fans. I stinkin love those people. I mean, there's just no unhappy polka. You can't help but feel good when it's playing. So, I got to hang with the surrogate big brother and catch up, as well as be entertained by an awesome polka band. We started getting a little too cold, so we went over to Eddie's to get a cheeseburger. I was SUPER pumped since I'm actually allowed to eat the stuff there (except for the hot dogs). I told Nick that they served the BEST cheeseburgers. He was skeptical, but two later he was convinced. I think Eddie's should cater my wedding. That would be phenomenal. We sat for a long time and discussed all kinds of things and finally left around 6.
Mom and I chatted for a while when I got home. I received a call from a local man who'd like to get me involved in all the local churches and have them take love offerings for me. He seemed very kind. I'm not sure if I want to book my entire summer and not be at my church at all, but it would be good to get back into singing regularly. I tried again to sleep...and failed again. Mom and I ended up watching the Tony Awards. How fun! I can't imagine how fantastic it would be to be nominated for one. What a huge honor that would be. Who knows...maybe someday.
Song of the Day: Being Alive-Patty LuPone
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGiJXqPtaMg
Verse of the Day: Psalm 40:3 He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God...
Day Forty-Six with Cancer
Day Forty-Six with Cancer/Day Twenty-Seven without Cancer:
I officially did NOTHING all day today. Yeah...I pretty much slept the day away. I just can't seem to feel rested at all. I'm not sure what my problem is. I admit I'm kind of down. That certainly helps with the feelings of lethargy. I just have no desire to do anything. Thankfully, there were a few things that I DID do today. I was able to speak on the phone with a guy who's like a father to me. He was the director of my very first show. We did some catching up for quite a while. He's such a dear. He said he's still surprised at how good I looked in the hospital. After we got off the phone, I finished getting ready to go out with my friend Hannah. I was so excited to be able to have some girl time. Hannah and I went to Rabbit Run to see Tintypes. It was far better than I expected. I don't usually enjoy the musical revues that don't really have a plot, but there are "characters". That's what this was, but it really was very entertaining. It's always a pleasure watching those particular actors, plus Sandy was the director and Sarah (my best friend) was choreographing. I mean, come on! How can you get better than that? Oh wait, I know. CHICAGO this summer! Hannah was telling me about how her first rehearsal was this afternoon and she had to go home and shower because she was all sweaty and gross cause the choreographer was wupping them. I'm so jealous. Anyway, Hannah and I had a lovely time. It was a very nice evening to be at the barn. It wasn't crazy hot or anything. I spoke with Brint about the benefit. Because it's not until the end of July, he decided to change what his donation is. I was happy with a pair of tickets, but he offered an ENTIRE SUBSCRIPTION to next season! I was floored! How incredibly generous. That's so much more than I expected.
After the show, Hannah and I went to Joey's, but the kitchen was closed, so we drove all the way to Painesville to go to Applebees. Oh how I loathe Rt. 20 right now with the insane construction and giant barrels everywhere. We FINALLY got there and were rewarded by 1/2 off appetizers. Yay! It was so nice just being able to hang out and chat. It's not often that I'm able to do that with any of "the girls", so tonight was a treat. I got home around 2 and then stayed on the phone for an hour. It's been a while since I've stayed out that late. "Sick" girl's gotta be careful. Lol whatever. I've gotta live while I can!
Song of the Day:Girls Just Want to Have Fun
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIb6AZdTr-A
Verse of the Day: Ephesians 4:2
I officially did NOTHING all day today. Yeah...I pretty much slept the day away. I just can't seem to feel rested at all. I'm not sure what my problem is. I admit I'm kind of down. That certainly helps with the feelings of lethargy. I just have no desire to do anything. Thankfully, there were a few things that I DID do today. I was able to speak on the phone with a guy who's like a father to me. He was the director of my very first show. We did some catching up for quite a while. He's such a dear. He said he's still surprised at how good I looked in the hospital. After we got off the phone, I finished getting ready to go out with my friend Hannah. I was so excited to be able to have some girl time. Hannah and I went to Rabbit Run to see Tintypes. It was far better than I expected. I don't usually enjoy the musical revues that don't really have a plot, but there are "characters". That's what this was, but it really was very entertaining. It's always a pleasure watching those particular actors, plus Sandy was the director and Sarah (my best friend) was choreographing. I mean, come on! How can you get better than that? Oh wait, I know. CHICAGO this summer! Hannah was telling me about how her first rehearsal was this afternoon and she had to go home and shower because she was all sweaty and gross cause the choreographer was wupping them. I'm so jealous. Anyway, Hannah and I had a lovely time. It was a very nice evening to be at the barn. It wasn't crazy hot or anything. I spoke with Brint about the benefit. Because it's not until the end of July, he decided to change what his donation is. I was happy with a pair of tickets, but he offered an ENTIRE SUBSCRIPTION to next season! I was floored! How incredibly generous. That's so much more than I expected.
After the show, Hannah and I went to Joey's, but the kitchen was closed, so we drove all the way to Painesville to go to Applebees. Oh how I loathe Rt. 20 right now with the insane construction and giant barrels everywhere. We FINALLY got there and were rewarded by 1/2 off appetizers. Yay! It was so nice just being able to hang out and chat. It's not often that I'm able to do that with any of "the girls", so tonight was a treat. I got home around 2 and then stayed on the phone for an hour. It's been a while since I've stayed out that late. "Sick" girl's gotta be careful. Lol whatever. I've gotta live while I can!
Song of the Day:Girls Just Want to Have Fun
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIb6AZdTr-A
Verse of the Day: Ephesians 4:2
Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of your love.
Day Forty-Five with Cancer
Day Forty-Five with Cancer/Day Twenty Six without Cancer:
Well, today was my third day of work for the week. Only a few hours today, but it's nice to be getting back into the swing of things. The good part of my day was spent at my sister's house. I went over there after getting out of work late, since Jaden had made a special request that I come. Pizza and movie night at the Debevec household included a rugby movie based on real events. It was pretty good. Not a big blockbuster hit, but good. The part that really got to me was when the team went to hang out with all the kids with cancer. I couldn't help it...I cried. It really breaks my heart to see children having to deal with such a terrible illness. I don't think anyone else knew or cared, but Sarah kinda reached out her arm for me. Even thinking about it now, I'm still getting weepy. I guess it's something that has always bothered me, but now it's just unbearable for me to witness. Jeff went out for a run after the movie was over and we eventually started Prince of Persia. Poor Jaden passed out halfway through the movie. Oddly enough, Caleb was REALLY awake during the whole thing. I love those kids. They mean so much to me. It's been nice spending so much time with my sister lately. We've never really been big on that. I'm enjoying it. I can't wait for our girls' day when we go watch the new X-Men movie. Mmmm eye candy.
P.S. Happy Birthday Judy. Love you always.
Song of the Day:Smile
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GAQfwpEDdOw&feature=related
Verse of the Day: Job 5:18
For he wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal.
Well, today was my third day of work for the week. Only a few hours today, but it's nice to be getting back into the swing of things. The good part of my day was spent at my sister's house. I went over there after getting out of work late, since Jaden had made a special request that I come. Pizza and movie night at the Debevec household included a rugby movie based on real events. It was pretty good. Not a big blockbuster hit, but good. The part that really got to me was when the team went to hang out with all the kids with cancer. I couldn't help it...I cried. It really breaks my heart to see children having to deal with such a terrible illness. I don't think anyone else knew or cared, but Sarah kinda reached out her arm for me. Even thinking about it now, I'm still getting weepy. I guess it's something that has always bothered me, but now it's just unbearable for me to witness. Jeff went out for a run after the movie was over and we eventually started Prince of Persia. Poor Jaden passed out halfway through the movie. Oddly enough, Caleb was REALLY awake during the whole thing. I love those kids. They mean so much to me. It's been nice spending so much time with my sister lately. We've never really been big on that. I'm enjoying it. I can't wait for our girls' day when we go watch the new X-Men movie. Mmmm eye candy.
P.S. Happy Birthday Judy. Love you always.
Song of the Day:Smile
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GAQfwpEDdOw&feature=related
Verse of the Day: Job 5:18
For he wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal.
Days Forty-Three and Forty-Four with Cancer
Day Forty-Three with Cancer/DayTwenty-Four without Cancer:
Ok. I don't even know what to report for today, since nothing really happened. I tried to get out and take some letters around. I was set on getting up early and getting some stuff done since yesterday I just sat around. So, today I went to several places and dropped letters off. Sadly, I was only able to get an actual donated item from one store. I'm going to have to follow up with all of the other ones because the people I needed to speak with weren't in. Lame! Hopefully they'll at least give a gift card for a door prize or something. My trip ended up all the way in Mentor where I looked for a new navel ring. I found a couple (as well as a blue one that I'm going to use as my colon cancer ring). I've had my ring out for a couple weeks though, so I had a REALLY hard time trying to get one back in. It basically took me until the evening. I tried over and over and it wasn't working. Finally I tried again right before I went to bed and I was able to get it through. Unfortunately, right before bed I also was looking at my belly and starting to get weirded out by the way this thing is healing. I called the dr and they said to call back first thing in the morning. Great. I guess tomorrow should be a fun day.
Song of the Day: Down with Love-Audra McDonald
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYE-gSTwB20
Verse of the Day: Job 8:21
He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy.
Day Forty Four with Cancer/Day Twenty-Five without Cancer:
So I was trying to get an appointment this morning and called into work. Apparently the schedule was changed and I didn't know. I ended up getting a text back literally 35 minutes before I needed to be at work. I had 5 minutes to get ready. NOT. GOOD. THEN I had forgotten that I needed gas. I could tell it was going to be one of those days. I hate it when everything that seems to be able to go wrong just does. The only good thing about being in the office was that I was able to still try and make my calls and everything. I was able to get my appointment and thankfully, people were able to work with me so that I could go and get things taken care of. I got out of work, went to Sarah's really quick to wash up and then mom and I drove to Cleveland. Thankfully there were no detours this time. :D We were able to get there alright and I checked in. We waited a fairly short amount of time in the waiting area, got into the room and waited a REALLY long time. I think it was like an hour and a half. Dr. Vogel finally came in. I hopped onto the table and he checked out my belly. He said he was really sorry that I had to come out. He was adorable. He seemed upset and kept saying that he's NEVER doing another navel surgery. "I hate navels. They're so dirty! They're just always getting infections...This is my last surgery through the navel." He said it would be ok and that it would heal beautifully. He said, "You'll be able to be a tummy model". This is one of the many reasons I love my surgeon. Now at least my belly button looks more like a belly button...it's just a VERY deep hole. Kinda weird. He gave my a goody bag to take home and I should be able to take care of everything.
Mom and I met dad at Texas Roadhouse. I had some ribs, applesauce and a sweet potato. Delish! My friend Devon was working there. What a surprise! I had to go and talk to him. I haven't seen my little brother in AGES! He's such a sweetie. He asked if I wanted to go do karaoke soon and get a drink. I'm totes in! Who knew? A really terrible start to the day, but a pretty nice finish. Huzzah!
Song of the Day: Bring on the Men-Linda Eder
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J15esfJbowQ&feature=related
Verse of the Day: Psalm 26:8
I love the house where you live, O Lord, the place where your glory dwells.
Ok. I don't even know what to report for today, since nothing really happened. I tried to get out and take some letters around. I was set on getting up early and getting some stuff done since yesterday I just sat around. So, today I went to several places and dropped letters off. Sadly, I was only able to get an actual donated item from one store. I'm going to have to follow up with all of the other ones because the people I needed to speak with weren't in. Lame! Hopefully they'll at least give a gift card for a door prize or something. My trip ended up all the way in Mentor where I looked for a new navel ring. I found a couple (as well as a blue one that I'm going to use as my colon cancer ring). I've had my ring out for a couple weeks though, so I had a REALLY hard time trying to get one back in. It basically took me until the evening. I tried over and over and it wasn't working. Finally I tried again right before I went to bed and I was able to get it through. Unfortunately, right before bed I also was looking at my belly and starting to get weirded out by the way this thing is healing. I called the dr and they said to call back first thing in the morning. Great. I guess tomorrow should be a fun day.
Song of the Day: Down with Love-Audra McDonald
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYE-gSTwB20
Verse of the Day: Job 8:21
He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy.
Day Forty Four with Cancer/Day Twenty-Five without Cancer:
So I was trying to get an appointment this morning and called into work. Apparently the schedule was changed and I didn't know. I ended up getting a text back literally 35 minutes before I needed to be at work. I had 5 minutes to get ready. NOT. GOOD. THEN I had forgotten that I needed gas. I could tell it was going to be one of those days. I hate it when everything that seems to be able to go wrong just does. The only good thing about being in the office was that I was able to still try and make my calls and everything. I was able to get my appointment and thankfully, people were able to work with me so that I could go and get things taken care of. I got out of work, went to Sarah's really quick to wash up and then mom and I drove to Cleveland. Thankfully there were no detours this time. :D We were able to get there alright and I checked in. We waited a fairly short amount of time in the waiting area, got into the room and waited a REALLY long time. I think it was like an hour and a half. Dr. Vogel finally came in. I hopped onto the table and he checked out my belly. He said he was really sorry that I had to come out. He was adorable. He seemed upset and kept saying that he's NEVER doing another navel surgery. "I hate navels. They're so dirty! They're just always getting infections...This is my last surgery through the navel." He said it would be ok and that it would heal beautifully. He said, "You'll be able to be a tummy model". This is one of the many reasons I love my surgeon. Now at least my belly button looks more like a belly button...it's just a VERY deep hole. Kinda weird. He gave my a goody bag to take home and I should be able to take care of everything.
Mom and I met dad at Texas Roadhouse. I had some ribs, applesauce and a sweet potato. Delish! My friend Devon was working there. What a surprise! I had to go and talk to him. I haven't seen my little brother in AGES! He's such a sweetie. He asked if I wanted to go do karaoke soon and get a drink. I'm totes in! Who knew? A really terrible start to the day, but a pretty nice finish. Huzzah!
Song of the Day: Bring on the Men-Linda Eder
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J15esfJbowQ&feature=related
Verse of the Day: Psalm 26:8
I love the house where you live, O Lord, the place where your glory dwells.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Day Forty-Two with Cancer
Day Forty-Two with Cancer/Day Twenty-Three without Cancer:
Today was much like yesterday...except the going to work part. Well, let's take that back. It did start out very differently. I woke up and got the dog at 6. We slept for a little while but were woken up by crazy wind, thunder and hail. I sat there just listening for a while. Poor Cordelia was really frightened. I can't say it didn't frighten me at all. I did wonder a little if I should be going down to the basement. I kept waiting to hear sirens. I got as close to the window as I felt comfortable so that I could make sure the hail wasn't completely jacking up our cars. I went downstairs to see if there was anything on the news about it...any warnings or anything, but of course, there was no tv signal. I went back to the upstairs window and watched the river that was cascading down our driveway. I thought, "Oh man, I should check the basement". I said some silent prayers and took the dog back to bed. She was nervous, but she was better once the hail started to die down. The entire afternoon was beautiful. The only thing different from normal was that everyone's backyard was flooded. Hopefully that's the only damage that people around here sustained.
I can't say that I did much else the rest of the day. I spent most of the time talking to God and reading my Bible. I guess those are good things to do when feeling helpless and uncertain. I did, however, go to something other than my Bible on my Nook and now my bookmarks and highlights are GONE. I'm hugely upset. This is one advantage of having my regular Bible. When I highlight something, there's no undoing that. Grrr.
Jason picked up the donation from Howard's Jewelry. They gave us an infinity diamond pendant. It's really pretty. We're getting a lot of nice items for the auctions. Now I just need to find a blue dress that's not too expensive. I want to feel pretty at this thing.
Mom and I watched Just Go With It. Most of it was pretty cute. I don't understand the sex humor in every movie though. Who thinks that stuff is funny? I just don't get it. At least I'm not the only one...mom doesn't get it either.
Well, I think it's time for me to do some more reading. Maybe this time my highlights will stay highlighted. I'll keep my fingers crossed.
Song of the Day: Defying Gravity
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XwmA0jyWMk
Verse of the Day: Psalm 52:9
I will praise you forever, O God, for what you have done. I will trust in your good name in the presence of your faithful people.
Today was much like yesterday...except the going to work part. Well, let's take that back. It did start out very differently. I woke up and got the dog at 6. We slept for a little while but were woken up by crazy wind, thunder and hail. I sat there just listening for a while. Poor Cordelia was really frightened. I can't say it didn't frighten me at all. I did wonder a little if I should be going down to the basement. I kept waiting to hear sirens. I got as close to the window as I felt comfortable so that I could make sure the hail wasn't completely jacking up our cars. I went downstairs to see if there was anything on the news about it...any warnings or anything, but of course, there was no tv signal. I went back to the upstairs window and watched the river that was cascading down our driveway. I thought, "Oh man, I should check the basement". I said some silent prayers and took the dog back to bed. She was nervous, but she was better once the hail started to die down. The entire afternoon was beautiful. The only thing different from normal was that everyone's backyard was flooded. Hopefully that's the only damage that people around here sustained.
I can't say that I did much else the rest of the day. I spent most of the time talking to God and reading my Bible. I guess those are good things to do when feeling helpless and uncertain. I did, however, go to something other than my Bible on my Nook and now my bookmarks and highlights are GONE. I'm hugely upset. This is one advantage of having my regular Bible. When I highlight something, there's no undoing that. Grrr.
Jason picked up the donation from Howard's Jewelry. They gave us an infinity diamond pendant. It's really pretty. We're getting a lot of nice items for the auctions. Now I just need to find a blue dress that's not too expensive. I want to feel pretty at this thing.
Mom and I watched Just Go With It. Most of it was pretty cute. I don't understand the sex humor in every movie though. Who thinks that stuff is funny? I just don't get it. At least I'm not the only one...mom doesn't get it either.
Well, I think it's time for me to do some more reading. Maybe this time my highlights will stay highlighted. I'll keep my fingers crossed.
Song of the Day: Defying Gravity
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XwmA0jyWMk
Verse of the Day: Psalm 52:9
I will praise you forever, O God, for what you have done. I will trust in your good name in the presence of your faithful people.
Day Forty-One with Cancer
Day Forty-One with Cancer/Day Twenty-Two without Cancer:
I admit, I'm still feeling much the way I did last night. I didn't want to wake up this morning. It didn't seem like there was much reason to wake up anyway, so I didn't. I slept and I read my Bible. Around 12:30, I finally got up and got ready to go to work. Yes, today was my first day back at work.
I had a short shift at PCA today. I was just in the office, so at least I didn't have to worry about the kids much. It was good for me I think. It kept me distracted for a while and it was nice to be able to talk to people I haven't seen in a few weeks. All the hugs from the kids didn't hurt much either. :) I can't believe their graduation is on Wednesday. That seems altogether too fast. I should probably try to go, but I know that's going to be a day that I try to take letters to all the businesses. I made some calls. I was able to schedule my follow up appointment with Dr. Vogel and I called the Oncology department, so hopefully that can be scheduled asap.
As soon as I walked out of the building, the reality of everything hit me once again. Just the fact that we're even talking about chemo again is really upsetting to me. Kelly and I had discussed the situation of the 11 yr old with cancer. Apparently, she may have to go back into the hospital. She's having more pain where she was complaining of it initially. That just breaks my heart. I want to help her. I want to help the people that I met while I was in the hospital. How do I do that? I'm not a surgeon...I can't take away their cancer. What can I possibly do for them? It's just so upsetting to me. I feel so helpless.
When I got home, I just kinda sat and stared blankly. It seemed there was nothing to do...nothing to say. I just don't know how to make anything better. I made myself some scrambled eggs for dinner and sat with mom and dad for a while. I read my Bible for a while and then spent a good time in tears. Once the tears turned into a migraine, I knew it was time for bed. My head was on my pillow and my eyes were closed, but the tears kept coming. I pled with the Lord to open my eyes and help me to see. Please, Lord, show me what to do.
Song of the Day: Astonishing-Little Women the Musical
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWV5jnVKrvg
Verse of the Day: Job 19:25
I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth.
I admit, I'm still feeling much the way I did last night. I didn't want to wake up this morning. It didn't seem like there was much reason to wake up anyway, so I didn't. I slept and I read my Bible. Around 12:30, I finally got up and got ready to go to work. Yes, today was my first day back at work.
I had a short shift at PCA today. I was just in the office, so at least I didn't have to worry about the kids much. It was good for me I think. It kept me distracted for a while and it was nice to be able to talk to people I haven't seen in a few weeks. All the hugs from the kids didn't hurt much either. :) I can't believe their graduation is on Wednesday. That seems altogether too fast. I should probably try to go, but I know that's going to be a day that I try to take letters to all the businesses. I made some calls. I was able to schedule my follow up appointment with Dr. Vogel and I called the Oncology department, so hopefully that can be scheduled asap.
As soon as I walked out of the building, the reality of everything hit me once again. Just the fact that we're even talking about chemo again is really upsetting to me. Kelly and I had discussed the situation of the 11 yr old with cancer. Apparently, she may have to go back into the hospital. She's having more pain where she was complaining of it initially. That just breaks my heart. I want to help her. I want to help the people that I met while I was in the hospital. How do I do that? I'm not a surgeon...I can't take away their cancer. What can I possibly do for them? It's just so upsetting to me. I feel so helpless.
When I got home, I just kinda sat and stared blankly. It seemed there was nothing to do...nothing to say. I just don't know how to make anything better. I made myself some scrambled eggs for dinner and sat with mom and dad for a while. I read my Bible for a while and then spent a good time in tears. Once the tears turned into a migraine, I knew it was time for bed. My head was on my pillow and my eyes were closed, but the tears kept coming. I pled with the Lord to open my eyes and help me to see. Please, Lord, show me what to do.
Song of the Day: Astonishing-Little Women the Musical
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWV5jnVKrvg
Verse of the Day: Job 19:25
I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth.
Day Forty with Cancer
Day Forty with Cancer/Day Twenty-One without Cancer:
What a freaking hard day. Today has honestly been the first day that I just couldn't keep it together since the beginning of all of this.
I woke up and got ready to head to church early. I was going to sing with the praise team today and we needed to practice. I always seem to have difficulty, cause Shiloh and I instinctively sing the same part and I'm not bright enough to come up with another harmony part. So much for my musical background.
Our friend, Wes, came to church today. What a pleasant surprise. He is such a great guy. It was a great sermon and it was extra cool because Pastor Terry was preaching again after his surgery and I was able to sing again after mine. The Lord has been doing a lot in our church.
I hung out for a little bit and spoke with Jenny and she called me on the way home. Apparently, someone had read the article about me in the Star Beacon and wanted to make a donation. I had completely forgotten about the article being released today. Mom stopped at the grocery store on the way home and picked up a few. We read them together when she got back. It was really weird. Half of the stuff they quoted me as saying in the article was NEVER said. I mean, I guess it could have been worse, but I sounded kind of stupid and redundant, not to mention one of those scary kinds of christians. The picture made me really look sick. I was very pale (which I guess I am right now) and you could really see the huge, dark circles under my eyes. I dunno...maybe that was their goal. They were thinking if they played up that I was sick then people would donate. Unfortunately, that's not what I wanted. I wanted people to know how fortunate I was for things being caught so early. I was really blessed with the way things happened. I wanted people to know how awesome all the local businesses have been to donate items for the benefit. I wanted people to see how incredible it is when a community bands together to help a "friend" in need...even if they don't really know her. There's a whole (SUPER REDUNDANT) "quote" at the end about life being beautiful. First of all, if you knew me, you'd know right off that I'd never say something like that. Frankly, life frequently sucks. I tell it like it is. Often, life is just plain crappy. However, that being said, the God who created that life and created me, gave me the tools to cope. He doesn't let me become satisfied with this life, because this is NOT my home. He's given me a hope and a future though. He's given me joy. He's given me a lot more than beauty. So I know that when life isn't so sun-shiney, I have a Savior to go to. It may not be "beautiful", but it can be peaceful regardless of the circumstances.
What a freaking hard day. Today has honestly been the first day that I just couldn't keep it together since the beginning of all of this.
I woke up and got ready to head to church early. I was going to sing with the praise team today and we needed to practice. I always seem to have difficulty, cause Shiloh and I instinctively sing the same part and I'm not bright enough to come up with another harmony part. So much for my musical background.
Our friend, Wes, came to church today. What a pleasant surprise. He is such a great guy. It was a great sermon and it was extra cool because Pastor Terry was preaching again after his surgery and I was able to sing again after mine. The Lord has been doing a lot in our church.
I hung out for a little bit and spoke with Jenny and she called me on the way home. Apparently, someone had read the article about me in the Star Beacon and wanted to make a donation. I had completely forgotten about the article being released today. Mom stopped at the grocery store on the way home and picked up a few. We read them together when she got back. It was really weird. Half of the stuff they quoted me as saying in the article was NEVER said. I mean, I guess it could have been worse, but I sounded kind of stupid and redundant, not to mention one of those scary kinds of christians. The picture made me really look sick. I was very pale (which I guess I am right now) and you could really see the huge, dark circles under my eyes. I dunno...maybe that was their goal. They were thinking if they played up that I was sick then people would donate. Unfortunately, that's not what I wanted. I wanted people to know how fortunate I was for things being caught so early. I was really blessed with the way things happened. I wanted people to know how awesome all the local businesses have been to donate items for the benefit. I wanted people to see how incredible it is when a community bands together to help a "friend" in need...even if they don't really know her. There's a whole (SUPER REDUNDANT) "quote" at the end about life being beautiful. First of all, if you knew me, you'd know right off that I'd never say something like that. Frankly, life frequently sucks. I tell it like it is. Often, life is just plain crappy. However, that being said, the God who created that life and created me, gave me the tools to cope. He doesn't let me become satisfied with this life, because this is NOT my home. He's given me a hope and a future though. He's given me joy. He's given me a lot more than beauty. So I know that when life isn't so sun-shiney, I have a Savior to go to. It may not be "beautiful", but it can be peaceful regardless of the circumstances.
That being said, this afternoon/evening was a time with little of that. It's been the first time that I've just felt helpless and ready to give up. A lot of the issues are silly, personal things, but the fact that I have to schedule a meeting with an Oncologist to talk about chemo (after I thought all that part was done) is disappointing. I'm feeling extreme guilt over something that is silly and I have no control over, but I feel like God should have given me the worse diagnosis than the 11 yr. old I spoke of in earlier blogs. I know I can handle whatever comes. I've been through a lot in my 26 years. She shouldn't have to grow up as fast as I did. I didn't want to have kids anyway and now she doesn't even have that option. I know things are frequently unfair, but it just should have been me instead. I spent hours crying and asking God what His plan is. In my limited sight, I just can't see the purpose.
Song of the Day: I Am Changing-Dreamgirls
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4VwhQlf1cc&feature=related
Verse of the Day: 2 Corinthians 4:17
For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.
Day Thirty-Nine with Cancer
Day Thirty-Nine with Cancer/ Day Twenty without Cancer:
The only real noteworthy thing that happened today was that mom and I had an early morning adventure. We went to Jaden's last soccer game of the season, but made a couple of stops first. We have such a good time together. Jaden did SO well at the game. They're only allowed to score two goals, so he got his two and then was helpless as he tried to assist his team to victory. Sadly, his team kind of left him hanging. I can't wait to see how he'll do when he has other kids that are keeping up with him. He's got a lot of talent and he really enjoys playing. I've never really been into sports, so I find it relatively amusing when I go to his games and I'm clapping and shouting on the sidelines like everyone else. Part of it seems really awkward and the other is like, "Oh, THIS is what it's like". Mom got us soft pretzels. Caleb asked if it was okay that I ate it. He wanted to make sure it wasn't too hard. One of the other parents gave him a sugar crystal sucker. He told me I couldn't have it because I can only have soft things. He really didn't understand when he offered me watermelon and I said I wasn't allowed to have it. He said, "Umm...but watermelon IS soft!" I think we'll BOTH be happy when I'm allowed to have whatever I want. It's summer! Fruits and veggies are especially awesome right now. *sigh* Another three and a half weeks.
Sitting out in the sun gave me a migraine. It stinks not being able to sweat. The air conditioned car was paradise.
After we went home, mom and I sat out on the deck and read for a while. Jason and I Skyped so that we could talk about stuff for the benefit. It's looking pretty good. I think we have a pretty solid foundation and that the majority of the stuff is done. Now it's just a matter of really getting a BUNCH of donations for door prizes, chinese auctions and silent auctions. I found a ticket design that has a blue ribbon on it. I think we may end up going with that one. I'm anxious to see how it turns out.
Song of the Day: Don't Rain on My Parade-Funny Girl
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_g3kkGH8Mo
Verse of the Day: Psalm 23:6
Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever.
The only real noteworthy thing that happened today was that mom and I had an early morning adventure. We went to Jaden's last soccer game of the season, but made a couple of stops first. We have such a good time together. Jaden did SO well at the game. They're only allowed to score two goals, so he got his two and then was helpless as he tried to assist his team to victory. Sadly, his team kind of left him hanging. I can't wait to see how he'll do when he has other kids that are keeping up with him. He's got a lot of talent and he really enjoys playing. I've never really been into sports, so I find it relatively amusing when I go to his games and I'm clapping and shouting on the sidelines like everyone else. Part of it seems really awkward and the other is like, "Oh, THIS is what it's like". Mom got us soft pretzels. Caleb asked if it was okay that I ate it. He wanted to make sure it wasn't too hard. One of the other parents gave him a sugar crystal sucker. He told me I couldn't have it because I can only have soft things. He really didn't understand when he offered me watermelon and I said I wasn't allowed to have it. He said, "Umm...but watermelon IS soft!" I think we'll BOTH be happy when I'm allowed to have whatever I want. It's summer! Fruits and veggies are especially awesome right now. *sigh* Another three and a half weeks.
Sitting out in the sun gave me a migraine. It stinks not being able to sweat. The air conditioned car was paradise.
After we went home, mom and I sat out on the deck and read for a while. Jason and I Skyped so that we could talk about stuff for the benefit. It's looking pretty good. I think we have a pretty solid foundation and that the majority of the stuff is done. Now it's just a matter of really getting a BUNCH of donations for door prizes, chinese auctions and silent auctions. I found a ticket design that has a blue ribbon on it. I think we may end up going with that one. I'm anxious to see how it turns out.
Song of the Day: Don't Rain on My Parade-Funny Girl
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_g3kkGH8Mo
Verse of the Day: Psalm 23:6
Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Days Thirty-Seven and Thirty-Eight
Day Thirty-Seven with Cancer/Day Eighteen without Cancer:
Today I spent a good part of the day finding phone numbers and making calls. One of the things I was focusing on today was the local wineries. I called several of them. We have so many around here. I figured it could be a good time investment. Sadly, I only got a hold of a few of them. Firehouse Winery was the place I was really impressed with. I called and told them my name and the woman said, "HEY, I know who you are! You sing here at the lake every summer." Surprised, I said, "Yeah...I do" and explained the reason for my calling. She was VERY accommodating. I was told they'd send out a gift certificate right away. How awesome is that? I also got a commitment from Old Mill and told her I could come by on my way home.
I headed out to Painesville for some van training at work. It didn't last nearly as long as I thought it might. Thankfully, it gave me time to sit and talk with Stephanie for quite a while. I'm so thankful to have an employer that I can talk to about all kinds of things. I'm extremely fortunate to have a woman who isn't JUST a boss, but a friend and sister-in-Christ. It means a lot to me.
I started home and stopped at Giant Eagle. They didn't have my prescription, of course. I picked up a gallon of milk for mom and was surprised at how much it hurt my gut. I stopped at Old Mill to pick up the gift certificate. I'm starting to get excited about the donations that we're getting. Let's hope that people continue to have generous hearts!
Song of the Day:Fabulous, Baby-Sister Act I've decided that this is going to be my new theme song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=shIUfHnB_G4&feature=related
Verse of the Day: Romans 12:10
Love each other with genuine affection and take delight in honoring each other.
Day Thirty-Eight with Cancer/Day Nineteen without Cancer:
Wow. I have become REALLY good at sleeping the day away. Sure, I don't get to sleep until three am and then don't sleep well throughout the night, but that's no excuse. This morning I kept waking up and then I was just laying there tossing around. I finally got a call from John Michael that made me (sort of) get up and do something. What a wonderful guy. He just graduated. I still can't believe that many of them are JUST finishing high school. That's crazy to me. After we got off the phone I can't say that I did much.
Several hours later I forced myself to get up, shower and get out of the house. I tried going to the pharmacy again and they STILL didn't have my meds. I think I'm going to have to make some calls on that. I drove out to the Virant Family Winery to pick up a bottle of wine that was donated and then drove out to Painesville so that I could go to Target. Tara's baby shower is on Sunday and I wanted to pick up some items for her. I grabbed a Venti Iced Cinnamon Dolce Latte from Starbucks and then headed over to my sister's house.
Friday is pizza and movie night at the Debevec household. Hanging out with the boys always proves to be interesting. The first quote of the night was Caleb saying, "Oops. I tooted on accident. Do you toot sometimes?" I couldn't help but laugh. We watched Star Struck. I think it's a Disney movie or something. I kept gagging at the uber fake "love" in that movie. Sarah was trying to convince me that we need movies like that so that we can keep hope that "love" like that exists. I kind of just think it gives us unrealistic expectations, but that's just me. We then watched the Sorcerer's Apprentice. At the end of the movie, the apprentice kills the bad girl and I said it looked like something out of a video game. Jaden simply followed with, "GAME OVER". Seriously epic timing, that one. I love him. I said goodnight to Caleb and Jaden stayed downstairs with Sarah and me for a little while just TOTALLY cracking up. I showed him the top of my "wound" where my belly button is. I explained that I didn't really HAVE much of a belly button. He said, "WHAT?! THAT'S IT?!" What a turd. :)
When I got home I got on my Nook and went in search of a Bible to download. I'm not in college or high school anymore, so I can't get one for those people. I can't get a women's Bible because they tend to be geared toward wives and mothers. I don't really FIT in any category. After several sample downloads, I found this one called the True Identity Bible. I immediately knew that was it, but I sampled it anyway. It was exactly what I was looking for. It's for young women looking to find their true identity in Christ. The world puts pressure on women to be all different kinds of things, but as long as I know who I am in Him, I'm all good. I was so excited about my reading that I found that it was past 3 am when I checked the time. I reluctantly put my Nook away. I felt like I was having some really good God time. Thank goodness for electronic bookmarks and highlighting!
Song of the Day: Rose's Turn-Bernadette Peters Talk about fierce!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsz8SRruxdw
Verse of the Day: Romans 12:16
Live in harmony with each other. Don't be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don't think you know it all!
Today I spent a good part of the day finding phone numbers and making calls. One of the things I was focusing on today was the local wineries. I called several of them. We have so many around here. I figured it could be a good time investment. Sadly, I only got a hold of a few of them. Firehouse Winery was the place I was really impressed with. I called and told them my name and the woman said, "HEY, I know who you are! You sing here at the lake every summer." Surprised, I said, "Yeah...I do" and explained the reason for my calling. She was VERY accommodating. I was told they'd send out a gift certificate right away. How awesome is that? I also got a commitment from Old Mill and told her I could come by on my way home.
I headed out to Painesville for some van training at work. It didn't last nearly as long as I thought it might. Thankfully, it gave me time to sit and talk with Stephanie for quite a while. I'm so thankful to have an employer that I can talk to about all kinds of things. I'm extremely fortunate to have a woman who isn't JUST a boss, but a friend and sister-in-Christ. It means a lot to me.
I started home and stopped at Giant Eagle. They didn't have my prescription, of course. I picked up a gallon of milk for mom and was surprised at how much it hurt my gut. I stopped at Old Mill to pick up the gift certificate. I'm starting to get excited about the donations that we're getting. Let's hope that people continue to have generous hearts!
Song of the Day:Fabulous, Baby-Sister Act I've decided that this is going to be my new theme song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=shIUfHnB_G4&feature=related
Verse of the Day: Romans 12:10
Love each other with genuine affection and take delight in honoring each other.
Day Thirty-Eight with Cancer/Day Nineteen without Cancer:
Wow. I have become REALLY good at sleeping the day away. Sure, I don't get to sleep until three am and then don't sleep well throughout the night, but that's no excuse. This morning I kept waking up and then I was just laying there tossing around. I finally got a call from John Michael that made me (sort of) get up and do something. What a wonderful guy. He just graduated. I still can't believe that many of them are JUST finishing high school. That's crazy to me. After we got off the phone I can't say that I did much.
Several hours later I forced myself to get up, shower and get out of the house. I tried going to the pharmacy again and they STILL didn't have my meds. I think I'm going to have to make some calls on that. I drove out to the Virant Family Winery to pick up a bottle of wine that was donated and then drove out to Painesville so that I could go to Target. Tara's baby shower is on Sunday and I wanted to pick up some items for her. I grabbed a Venti Iced Cinnamon Dolce Latte from Starbucks and then headed over to my sister's house.
Friday is pizza and movie night at the Debevec household. Hanging out with the boys always proves to be interesting. The first quote of the night was Caleb saying, "Oops. I tooted on accident. Do you toot sometimes?" I couldn't help but laugh. We watched Star Struck. I think it's a Disney movie or something. I kept gagging at the uber fake "love" in that movie. Sarah was trying to convince me that we need movies like that so that we can keep hope that "love" like that exists. I kind of just think it gives us unrealistic expectations, but that's just me. We then watched the Sorcerer's Apprentice. At the end of the movie, the apprentice kills the bad girl and I said it looked like something out of a video game. Jaden simply followed with, "GAME OVER". Seriously epic timing, that one. I love him. I said goodnight to Caleb and Jaden stayed downstairs with Sarah and me for a little while just TOTALLY cracking up. I showed him the top of my "wound" where my belly button is. I explained that I didn't really HAVE much of a belly button. He said, "WHAT?! THAT'S IT?!" What a turd. :)
When I got home I got on my Nook and went in search of a Bible to download. I'm not in college or high school anymore, so I can't get one for those people. I can't get a women's Bible because they tend to be geared toward wives and mothers. I don't really FIT in any category. After several sample downloads, I found this one called the True Identity Bible. I immediately knew that was it, but I sampled it anyway. It was exactly what I was looking for. It's for young women looking to find their true identity in Christ. The world puts pressure on women to be all different kinds of things, but as long as I know who I am in Him, I'm all good. I was so excited about my reading that I found that it was past 3 am when I checked the time. I reluctantly put my Nook away. I felt like I was having some really good God time. Thank goodness for electronic bookmarks and highlighting!
Song of the Day: Rose's Turn-Bernadette Peters Talk about fierce!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsz8SRruxdw
Verse of the Day: Romans 12:16
Live in harmony with each other. Don't be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don't think you know it all!
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Days Thirty-Five and Thirty-Six with Cancer
Day Thirty-Five with Cancer/Day Sixteen without Cancer:
Seriously. Today is my first day alone. I basically have nothing to report as I just slept most of the day. I wasn't sure what to do with myself. I made some calls for the fundraiser, but really...it was pretty depressing. I missed my family. I guess I got kinda spoiled having them around these past couple of weeks. So, now what?
Couldn't sleep again. I don't know what this thing is about me not getting to sleep until 3 or so in the morning, but it's getting old. I ended up playing Angry Birds all night. I ended up beating the whole first level. I'm a little confused about how they figure that. The first section is three levels and the second section starts on the fourth one? I dunno. I just think that's way more complicated than it needs to be.
Song of the Day: What I Did for Love from A Chorus Line
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXW480B4ENs
Verse of the Day: 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17
Always be joyful. Never stop praying.
Day Thirty-Six with Cancer/Day Seventeen without Cancer:
I decided I was getting out of the house today. I woke up and took my morning cocktail of pills. (Only 7 of them in the morning) I hopped into the shower and put on a sun dress. I think I'm starting to get used to wearing dresses. They're just so much easier right now. They don't press on my belly.
I typed up and printed out several copies of our donation letter and got ready to take them to a few places. First, I stopped at the school. It was really nice to take a little time and catch up with a few of the girls. I love being able to chat with Andrea and Shiloh. I miss them. The kids seemed pretty excited. I stopped down the hallway and visited with the 3's for a little bit. Half of them were REALLY excited and the other half were really hesitant...like they weren't sure if they were going to hurt me. Both were very sweet. (Though I have to say, I preferred the more hesitant approach than the girl who launched herself onto my back. Yikes. I was a little scared) I picked up my check and after several times of saying, "Ok, I'm really leaving this time" I went. I got as far as the nearest stop light when my sister called me. She had stuff for me to pick up at her place. I told her I'd swing by on my way back.
My next stop was Barnes and Noble. I was dropping off my donation letter, but I also wanted to pick up a case for my Nook. I found a case that I think I like and spoke with the girl about donations. She said she should have something ready by the end of next week. That works for me! I headed to Howard's Jewelry after that. I kept that visit short and sweet, but was told that they should (probably) have something at the end of next week as well. I wanted to stop by Best Buy, but I wasn't sure how late Finestra was open and I wanted to pick up the donation that they made. I parked down one of the side streets and walked just a little bit. I was able to pick up the Troll bead bracelet and head back. I couldn't see the bracelet or anything, but they had seemed to hook us up. They had packaged everything so nicely and gave us lots of pamphlets and cards. How exciting! I swung by Sarah's to get her stuff. She printed pictures from the hospital for me and had some large prints in frames for mom. They were getting ready to head to church, so I got out of there pretty fast. The traffic going home was ridiculous! Glad I didn't have anywhere to be.
Jenny was texting me about the fundraiser and she said that the reporter from Star Beacon wants to meet me to get an interview and photo. I guess she'll be coming over tomorrow at 11. I feel ill prepared. I wonder what kind of questions she's going to ask. "How did you feel when you were diagnosed?" I dunno...I keep going over things, but I think I'm going to sound like an idiot cause I can't think of any possible questions a person could ask me right now. I wonder what I should wear. Hmm..
I got home and hung out with mom. Thankfully she'll be home most of the day tomorrow. We took a look at the bracelet. It's absolutely gorgeous. If I didn't already have one started, I'd bid on it myself. There is one pink bead with glitter inside. I said I think it's a Glinda bead. I also like the one with the vintage looking Violets. It's an awesome piece worth $220. We also have pieces from Fuller Furniture and several pair of tickets to local shows. It's gonna be awesome! I guess I better try to go to sleep so I can be ready for this.
P.S. I think the Songs of the Day for a while are going to be Diva inspired. I need some diva sass right now.
Song of the Day: Over the Rainbow-the timeless Judy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhzbzwPNgXA
Verse of the Day: Phillipians 3:8
Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ
Seriously. Today is my first day alone. I basically have nothing to report as I just slept most of the day. I wasn't sure what to do with myself. I made some calls for the fundraiser, but really...it was pretty depressing. I missed my family. I guess I got kinda spoiled having them around these past couple of weeks. So, now what?
Couldn't sleep again. I don't know what this thing is about me not getting to sleep until 3 or so in the morning, but it's getting old. I ended up playing Angry Birds all night. I ended up beating the whole first level. I'm a little confused about how they figure that. The first section is three levels and the second section starts on the fourth one? I dunno. I just think that's way more complicated than it needs to be.
Song of the Day: What I Did for Love from A Chorus Line
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXW480B4ENs
Verse of the Day: 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17
Always be joyful. Never stop praying.
Day Thirty-Six with Cancer/Day Seventeen without Cancer:
I decided I was getting out of the house today. I woke up and took my morning cocktail of pills. (Only 7 of them in the morning) I hopped into the shower and put on a sun dress. I think I'm starting to get used to wearing dresses. They're just so much easier right now. They don't press on my belly.
I typed up and printed out several copies of our donation letter and got ready to take them to a few places. First, I stopped at the school. It was really nice to take a little time and catch up with a few of the girls. I love being able to chat with Andrea and Shiloh. I miss them. The kids seemed pretty excited. I stopped down the hallway and visited with the 3's for a little bit. Half of them were REALLY excited and the other half were really hesitant...like they weren't sure if they were going to hurt me. Both were very sweet. (Though I have to say, I preferred the more hesitant approach than the girl who launched herself onto my back. Yikes. I was a little scared) I picked up my check and after several times of saying, "Ok, I'm really leaving this time" I went. I got as far as the nearest stop light when my sister called me. She had stuff for me to pick up at her place. I told her I'd swing by on my way back.
My next stop was Barnes and Noble. I was dropping off my donation letter, but I also wanted to pick up a case for my Nook. I found a case that I think I like and spoke with the girl about donations. She said she should have something ready by the end of next week. That works for me! I headed to Howard's Jewelry after that. I kept that visit short and sweet, but was told that they should (probably) have something at the end of next week as well. I wanted to stop by Best Buy, but I wasn't sure how late Finestra was open and I wanted to pick up the donation that they made. I parked down one of the side streets and walked just a little bit. I was able to pick up the Troll bead bracelet and head back. I couldn't see the bracelet or anything, but they had seemed to hook us up. They had packaged everything so nicely and gave us lots of pamphlets and cards. How exciting! I swung by Sarah's to get her stuff. She printed pictures from the hospital for me and had some large prints in frames for mom. They were getting ready to head to church, so I got out of there pretty fast. The traffic going home was ridiculous! Glad I didn't have anywhere to be.
Jenny was texting me about the fundraiser and she said that the reporter from Star Beacon wants to meet me to get an interview and photo. I guess she'll be coming over tomorrow at 11. I feel ill prepared. I wonder what kind of questions she's going to ask. "How did you feel when you were diagnosed?" I dunno...I keep going over things, but I think I'm going to sound like an idiot cause I can't think of any possible questions a person could ask me right now. I wonder what I should wear. Hmm..
I got home and hung out with mom. Thankfully she'll be home most of the day tomorrow. We took a look at the bracelet. It's absolutely gorgeous. If I didn't already have one started, I'd bid on it myself. There is one pink bead with glitter inside. I said I think it's a Glinda bead. I also like the one with the vintage looking Violets. It's an awesome piece worth $220. We also have pieces from Fuller Furniture and several pair of tickets to local shows. It's gonna be awesome! I guess I better try to go to sleep so I can be ready for this.
P.S. I think the Songs of the Day for a while are going to be Diva inspired. I need some diva sass right now.
Song of the Day: Over the Rainbow-the timeless Judy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhzbzwPNgXA
Verse of the Day: Phillipians 3:8
Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ
Day Thirty-Four with Cancer
Day Thirty-Four with Cancer/Day Fourteen without Cancer:
Wow. Has it really been two weeks since surgery? That really doesn't seem possible at all. It's Monday-Memorial Day...the grandparents are gone. It seems quiet. This morning consisted of movies with the parents. We just laid in the living room. It was kind of awesome. It seems silly, but it was nice to just hang out.
Jason came over with Sydney. The poor thing didn't feel well. She just wasn't herself. She didn't seem to want to do anything. I asked Jay if he thought she had another ear infection. Mom made dinner for all of us. Sarah, Jeff and the boys came over not too long after that. Caleb wanted to bring me all kinds of soft foods. He saw that I had only eaten half of my pork chop and figured it was too hard for me. Syd seemed to perk up a little bit with the boys. I am so blessed to be close enough to my family that I can watch my niece and nephews grow up. I love them. Poor Jenny had to work. At least she'll be able to be with us during the big holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas. Let's hope that mom and Jason won't have to work. I'll make sure not to schedule any procedures on or around that time so that I don't have to fast.
We ended up watching some River Monsters show and checking out some big friggin eels. It was disgusting. I didn't even realize there were real eels that large. I also didn't realize that eel blood is poisonous to us. Weird. We all had fudgecicles and ice cream sandwiches and poor little Syd passed out on Sarah. Everybody ended up leaving and then I ended up passing out. I slept for at least an hour. Of course that meant that I couldn't sleep at night. I worked on getting some of the stuff done for the fundraiser. I got lots of phone numbers and addresses. Hopefully I get get lots more donations. I think we've got a nice start.
Song of the Day: Dare You to Move-Switchfoot
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jE-Krlqi4fk
Verse of the Day: Psalm 69:32
The humble will see their God at work and be glad. Let all who seek God's help be encouraged.
Wow. Has it really been two weeks since surgery? That really doesn't seem possible at all. It's Monday-Memorial Day...the grandparents are gone. It seems quiet. This morning consisted of movies with the parents. We just laid in the living room. It was kind of awesome. It seems silly, but it was nice to just hang out.
Jason came over with Sydney. The poor thing didn't feel well. She just wasn't herself. She didn't seem to want to do anything. I asked Jay if he thought she had another ear infection. Mom made dinner for all of us. Sarah, Jeff and the boys came over not too long after that. Caleb wanted to bring me all kinds of soft foods. He saw that I had only eaten half of my pork chop and figured it was too hard for me. Syd seemed to perk up a little bit with the boys. I am so blessed to be close enough to my family that I can watch my niece and nephews grow up. I love them. Poor Jenny had to work. At least she'll be able to be with us during the big holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas. Let's hope that mom and Jason won't have to work. I'll make sure not to schedule any procedures on or around that time so that I don't have to fast.
We ended up watching some River Monsters show and checking out some big friggin eels. It was disgusting. I didn't even realize there were real eels that large. I also didn't realize that eel blood is poisonous to us. Weird. We all had fudgecicles and ice cream sandwiches and poor little Syd passed out on Sarah. Everybody ended up leaving and then I ended up passing out. I slept for at least an hour. Of course that meant that I couldn't sleep at night. I worked on getting some of the stuff done for the fundraiser. I got lots of phone numbers and addresses. Hopefully I get get lots more donations. I think we've got a nice start.
Song of the Day: Dare You to Move-Switchfoot
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jE-Krlqi4fk
Verse of the Day: Psalm 69:32
The humble will see their God at work and be glad. Let all who seek God's help be encouraged.
Day Thirty-Three with Cancer
Day Thirty-Three with Cancer/Day Thirteen without Cancer:
Today was bittersweet. We didn't go to church today since grandma and grandpa were finishing packing up their stuff. We left pretty early and stopped by Sarah and Jeff's place. We hung around for a while. The boys were a little upset because I told them I didn't really want to play unless we could find a game where more people could participate. We spoke a bit about what we were going to do when we got to Colorado and they showed the grandparents the cabin we'll be staying in. They were digging on Sarah's ipad.
We set out for the airport. The drive to Akron consisted of dad switching out his sunglasses multiple times to see which ones he liked better and counting the amount of dead deer on the side of the road. Yeah...we're awesome that way.
When we got to the airport, we sat down at Subway and tried to figure out what we wanted for dinner. Honestly, there wasn't a lot that I was able to eat, so I just ended up with their personal cheese pizza. I can't say that it was very exciting, but it was "real" food. Dad had me read a card on the sly that he was giving to grandma and grandpa. He told them they weren't allowed to open it until after they got onto the plane. I'm still surprised. We finished and were standing near the security check area. The ladies went to the restroom, but the guys and I waited outside. Dad was holding onto the suitcases and one of them fell down. It hit me in the hand and my drink went flying. It exploded on the floor just as the ladies came out of the bathroom. It was funny trying to explain what happened. I was attacked by grandma's suitcase! We said our goodbyes and watched them until we weren't able to see them anymore. It's always hard to see them leave. I often wonder how it makes mom feel when they go back home or when she leaves what used to be her home. I can't imagine being away from my parents and siblings. She's an amazingly strong woman.
We had to stop back in Mentor to pick up mom's car. I was surprised when dad got in the other car. I was thinking I'd ride with him, but why switch cars? I'm glad I didn't. Mom started falling asleep. The first time I asked her if she was ok. The second time I told her to pull over. I ended up driving the rest of the way home. I just kept thinking what might have happened if she was by herself. Yikes. No danke.
After I got home, I went with Chase and Jimmy to see Hangover 2. It certainly was not my type of humor, but we've been trying to get together for almost a year now and I figured this may be one of the only times I get to see them. Regardless of my movie preferences, we still had a good time. They're good guys. I got home right around midnight and finished off the evening with a bit of Angry Birds. Pretty good day over all.
Song of the Day: Testing the Strong Ones- Copeland (Sorry it's not a better video. Ouch)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShvPgzuLNmg
Verse of the Day: Proverbs 11:2
Pride leads to disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
Today was bittersweet. We didn't go to church today since grandma and grandpa were finishing packing up their stuff. We left pretty early and stopped by Sarah and Jeff's place. We hung around for a while. The boys were a little upset because I told them I didn't really want to play unless we could find a game where more people could participate. We spoke a bit about what we were going to do when we got to Colorado and they showed the grandparents the cabin we'll be staying in. They were digging on Sarah's ipad.
We set out for the airport. The drive to Akron consisted of dad switching out his sunglasses multiple times to see which ones he liked better and counting the amount of dead deer on the side of the road. Yeah...we're awesome that way.
When we got to the airport, we sat down at Subway and tried to figure out what we wanted for dinner. Honestly, there wasn't a lot that I was able to eat, so I just ended up with their personal cheese pizza. I can't say that it was very exciting, but it was "real" food. Dad had me read a card on the sly that he was giving to grandma and grandpa. He told them they weren't allowed to open it until after they got onto the plane. I'm still surprised. We finished and were standing near the security check area. The ladies went to the restroom, but the guys and I waited outside. Dad was holding onto the suitcases and one of them fell down. It hit me in the hand and my drink went flying. It exploded on the floor just as the ladies came out of the bathroom. It was funny trying to explain what happened. I was attacked by grandma's suitcase! We said our goodbyes and watched them until we weren't able to see them anymore. It's always hard to see them leave. I often wonder how it makes mom feel when they go back home or when she leaves what used to be her home. I can't imagine being away from my parents and siblings. She's an amazingly strong woman.
We had to stop back in Mentor to pick up mom's car. I was surprised when dad got in the other car. I was thinking I'd ride with him, but why switch cars? I'm glad I didn't. Mom started falling asleep. The first time I asked her if she was ok. The second time I told her to pull over. I ended up driving the rest of the way home. I just kept thinking what might have happened if she was by herself. Yikes. No danke.
After I got home, I went with Chase and Jimmy to see Hangover 2. It certainly was not my type of humor, but we've been trying to get together for almost a year now and I figured this may be one of the only times I get to see them. Regardless of my movie preferences, we still had a good time. They're good guys. I got home right around midnight and finished off the evening with a bit of Angry Birds. Pretty good day over all.
Song of the Day: Testing the Strong Ones- Copeland (Sorry it's not a better video. Ouch)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShvPgzuLNmg
Verse of the Day: Proverbs 11:2
Pride leads to disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Day Thirty-Two with Cancer
Day Thirty-Two with Cancer/Day Twelve without Cancer:
Dad came in and got me up this morning to ask where my prescription was. There was no way he was going to let me wait on taking that after last night's escapade. I tried to sleep a little bit more, but he was soon in again telling me that I needed to come and take it. Why even try at that point? There's no going back.
I went downstairs, grabbed some yogurt, breakfast quiche and my pills. What a lovely way to start the day. We watched more news coverage on the tornados. The wreckage is just devastating. Jason and Syd came over a little while later. That girl is hilarious. She's just a little sponge. I swear she soaks up EVERYTHING. She found a cd and a blueray case, so she tried putting the cd into the case. The was holding it straight up and down, so the cd didn't stay in, but slipped out the bottom. She tried to close it before she noticed. How she knows that's where the dvd's go is just ridiculous. She was trying to put on grandpa's shoes and I taught her to say "Vroom Vroom" when she was driving the little cars around. Cordelia was so well behaved while they were here. I was so impressed with her today. Usually she's insane, but she sat and even let Syd push the little vacuum around. She usually goes crazy and tries to eat it. When they left there were lots of "Bye. See You Morrow" and blown kisses. She's an adorable kid. I'm blessed to have an awesome niece and two awesome nephews.
I wanted to take a nap, but mom was going to be home soon and we had planned to go to grandma's for dinner, so I went and finished getting ready. We headed over to the Sanctuary and had dinner with grandma in one of their front rooms. I was actually able to eat all of the food. Who knew all I had to do was go to an assisted living facility. The portions are way closer to my size and everything is soft. LOL! After we were done we went into another room and all took turns playing cornhole. It was actually pretty fun. Grandma and dad played, then grandpa and mom, and then Grandma W. and me. It was too chilly to go sit outside, so we played a game of pool after that. Actually, mom and Grandma W. did a puzzle, grandpa and dad played pool and dad had me make (or try to make) a few shots. It was actually quite enjoyable. I like thinking about grandpa being a pool shark when he was young. He's done everything. I told grandma that while I'm out there this summer he has to teach me to fish and to fly. Ok...so I might not learn to fly a plane, but I might as well ask, right?
We left and went to Giant Eagle to pick up some more gauze and tape. The women almost didn't allow me to carry out a bag. I hate feeling so helpless. Dad even asked during dinner if I thought that my chair was ten pounds. Of course the chair wasn't ten pounds! He's worried. I guess that's a good thing.
Tonight I did my evening "pill pass". Holy crap. It should be illegal to take that many pills. I think there were ten in all. Between my pain pills, my iron and vitamin C, my regular meds, my antibiotic and my vitamins, there were just soo many. I took a picture of all of them in my hand. It was crazy. Grandma and grandpa go home tomorrow. I'm not really looking forward to it. I love having them here. At least I'll get to see again them in about a month...
Song of the Day: This Is The Stuff
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPEQKIpFUwI
Verse of the Day: Psalm 143:11
For the glory of your name, O Lord, preserve my life. Because of your faithfulness, bring me out of this distress.
Dad came in and got me up this morning to ask where my prescription was. There was no way he was going to let me wait on taking that after last night's escapade. I tried to sleep a little bit more, but he was soon in again telling me that I needed to come and take it. Why even try at that point? There's no going back.
I went downstairs, grabbed some yogurt, breakfast quiche and my pills. What a lovely way to start the day. We watched more news coverage on the tornados. The wreckage is just devastating. Jason and Syd came over a little while later. That girl is hilarious. She's just a little sponge. I swear she soaks up EVERYTHING. She found a cd and a blueray case, so she tried putting the cd into the case. The was holding it straight up and down, so the cd didn't stay in, but slipped out the bottom. She tried to close it before she noticed. How she knows that's where the dvd's go is just ridiculous. She was trying to put on grandpa's shoes and I taught her to say "Vroom Vroom" when she was driving the little cars around. Cordelia was so well behaved while they were here. I was so impressed with her today. Usually she's insane, but she sat and even let Syd push the little vacuum around. She usually goes crazy and tries to eat it. When they left there were lots of "Bye. See You Morrow" and blown kisses. She's an adorable kid. I'm blessed to have an awesome niece and two awesome nephews.
I wanted to take a nap, but mom was going to be home soon and we had planned to go to grandma's for dinner, so I went and finished getting ready. We headed over to the Sanctuary and had dinner with grandma in one of their front rooms. I was actually able to eat all of the food. Who knew all I had to do was go to an assisted living facility. The portions are way closer to my size and everything is soft. LOL! After we were done we went into another room and all took turns playing cornhole. It was actually pretty fun. Grandma and dad played, then grandpa and mom, and then Grandma W. and me. It was too chilly to go sit outside, so we played a game of pool after that. Actually, mom and Grandma W. did a puzzle, grandpa and dad played pool and dad had me make (or try to make) a few shots. It was actually quite enjoyable. I like thinking about grandpa being a pool shark when he was young. He's done everything. I told grandma that while I'm out there this summer he has to teach me to fish and to fly. Ok...so I might not learn to fly a plane, but I might as well ask, right?
We left and went to Giant Eagle to pick up some more gauze and tape. The women almost didn't allow me to carry out a bag. I hate feeling so helpless. Dad even asked during dinner if I thought that my chair was ten pounds. Of course the chair wasn't ten pounds! He's worried. I guess that's a good thing.
Tonight I did my evening "pill pass". Holy crap. It should be illegal to take that many pills. I think there were ten in all. Between my pain pills, my iron and vitamin C, my regular meds, my antibiotic and my vitamins, there were just soo many. I took a picture of all of them in my hand. It was crazy. Grandma and grandpa go home tomorrow. I'm not really looking forward to it. I love having them here. At least I'll get to see again them in about a month...
Song of the Day: This Is The Stuff
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPEQKIpFUwI
Verse of the Day: Psalm 143:11
For the glory of your name, O Lord, preserve my life. Because of your faithfulness, bring me out of this distress.
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