Day Fifty-Eight with Cancer

Day Fifty-Eight with Cancer/Day Thirty-Nine without Cancer:

I am so over this day.  Ok...it really has nothing to do with this "day" exactly, it's just the circumstances that keep occuring that are making me discouraged.  I absolutely hate the amount of spiritual warfare that is going on in our church/school.  I'm the second teacher diagnosed with cancer.  One of our kids was diagnosed and that situation is not going as well as I'd hope.  Her family is also having difficulty.  There is a third teacher who may have something going on...she has to get biopsied and see what it might be.  I don't know if we can handle more cancer here.  It's so upsetting.  On top of all that,multiple people have lost employment and my boss's father had a stroke today.  It just seems as though every family has something really serious happening.  How are we able to still minister to other people when we can barely stay afloat?  I've been very optimistic and hopeful so far, but I have to admit, I'm getting discouraged.

 I'd like to see God just say, "OK.  That's enough.  You guys have been faithful so here are better jobs, here is better health than you've ever had, here is the money you've never had the opportunity to keep/make...I know it was hard, but I just asked you to wait and you did."  Yes, I know that's a lot to ask for.  Things...to put it plainly...are not fair.  I just want to see God's people lifted up.  I want, for once, to see good things happen to good people.  I'd like to be able to be in a position financially where I can help my friends who are in need, whether that means money, food, gas, babysitting...whatever.

 Satan started attacking my dreams again last night.  I'm not sure why he feels it necessarry to do that, but it got old a long time ago.  I think I'm going to have to really just become a prayer warrior.  Satan obviously is scared of me.  I don't yet understand why, but I'm hoping that the Lord will reveal that to me soon.  If he IS scared, there has to be a big reason.  I know that God wants to use me for something big, but I don't know what exactly what and I've always felt that way, but nothing has happened yet...that starts to make a person think that they were wrong.  Let me tell you though, Satan is lucky he's not a physical being...he'd be getting a serious punch in the throat right now.  For real.  Well, I think I'm going to continue looking for a dress and possibly a hair cut before I go to small group and meet Adam for Oz night!  :)


Song of the Day:  Under Pressure-Queen
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a01QQZyl-_I

Verse of the Day:  Deuteronomy 31:6 
So be strong and courageous!  Do not be afraid and do not panic before them.  For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you.  He will neither fail you nor abandon you.