Day Four with Cancer:
Oh my goodness, what an insane day. It started out fairly relaxing. I didn't have to wake up at 5, so that was nice. I sat with mom for a bit in the morning and then started making calls and sending emails. Since Dr. Sailors had called the night before and told me to call in the morning, I figured I'd get with him first. I called a few times and he didn't answer and his voicemail was full. I sent Dr. Atreja an email about whether or not I should be working with an Oncologist and if I needed to have one speak directly with my surgeon. I realized very suddenly that I had taken far more time doing this than I had wanted to, and was late getting out the door. I ran out the door without getting all my things (or a coat). I sped to work thinking how ironic it would be to be diagnosed with cancer and then die in a car accident.
I was scheduled with the toddlers and I was having a really difficult time because I was so anemic. Just standing and walking was getting me weak and dizzy, but then having to chase the kids and lift them up and down to change diapers was making it REALLY hard. There were a few separate occasions where I almost passed out or fell down. Once we got to snack I had an orange and a glass of milk, hoping that it would help. It didn't. Thankfully, I had lots of stuff to do in the office and Andrea was kind enough to switch with me so that I could finish it. I went to the office and made up some invitations for the Muffins with Mom breakfast, printed them out and put them in mailboxes. I also kept having to speak with parents about the situation, get kids off the bus, and try to make sure one of the teachers went home. By 5:45, it was just Kelly, Connie and me. At that time we also realized that a certain teacher had left multiple rooms a disaster area and we all had to do double the amount of work we should have had to do. The three of us weren't able to get out of the school until 6:35. This was awful for me because it was the ONE time that I had somewhere to be.
Jeremy and I had planned to go watch Annie Get Your Gun at Aurora High School. The show started at 7 and it was supposed to take me 39 minutes from work. Needless to say, the already frustrating situation at work was now making me MORE furious. Again I sped as fast as I was able and again I imagined the irony in getting into a car crash. I ended up getting stuck on the express lanes and then had to literally drive over the grass median to get back to where I needed to be. I was able to get there about 7 minutes late. Brian Heigle was already there with Jeremy. The show was wonderful. John Michael was fabulous. I can't believe how much he's improved and just become this fantastic leading man. I was so proud to see all these kids that I love so much, on stage and doing the stuff that is so important to all of us. It really was awesome. I was able to see Leah, JM, Jeffrey, Ian, Robbie, Emily, and Sarah, as well as Eve and her mom, Paula and her husband, Rob and his wife, and of course, Brian. What a lovely reunion. Brian, Jeremy and I talked probably more than was appropriate during the performance, commenting on the fantastic voices, oddly inappropriate dialogue, and intense "stage" kisses AND we were even able to get a few cancer jokes in there. After the show, when we were mingling, there were a couple of times I almost fell over again. I couldn't seem to shake the light headedness. I waited around for a while because I wanted to break the news to Rob, but not in the middle of his directorial high. I spoke with him for a while and then J and I prepared to go to JM's house.
I love every moment I spend at that house. We are some of the strangest people. We literally sit there for hours finding the most ridiculous things on YouTube and watching them. The first couple hours of last night consisted of watching "Sexy Sax Man" do a Careless Whisper Saxophone Prank (which seriously almost made me wet myself), the Friday Brock's Mix, Birdemic (for the 5th or 6th time), some awfulness called My Jeans...and a bunch of other stuff. Eventually some of the kids left and somehow we moved out into the room with the dance floor and Jeffrey basically asked J for a lesson in break dancing. We did that for a while and then finally decided to watch the Fantastic Mr. Fox. I don't know when J will finally realize that I have good taste in movies, but he's been putting of watching this one with me and then during the whole movie he kept saying, "I don't know what I thought it was going to be, but this wasn't it. This is AWESOME!" If you haven't seen it, this is my recommendation. I have seen it several times and I still laugh hysterically every time. After the movie was over we headed out. It was soo late. I took J back to his car and started home. I had to stop in Willoughby to get some OJ and powdered doughnuts because I was falling asleep. I walked in the door right around 5am and crashed.
Day Four: Shaky, but ended wonderfully
Verse of the Day: Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. 14 Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. 15 And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. 16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. James 5:13-16
Song of the Day: Though not inspirational, I have to post it because it makes me laugh.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaoLU6zKaws
Day Five with Cancer:
Wow. Today has been an emotional roller coaster. I woke up at 10. I had slept for about 5 hours after getting in SUPER late...or should I say early...last night/this morning. Mom was home sick and we were able to just relax a little bit. We watched last week's Glee and Bones and then decided to go outside on the deck and get some fresh air. It was warmer, but still chilly, so we took blankets and read our books. We really are just too similar. I tried to take a little nap since I knew that I had a lot to do in the afternoon, but I wasn't able to sleep. Mom did end up taking a picture of me TRYING to sleep with the dog laying on me though. That was pretty entertaining. Someone knocked on the door and needless to day, neither mom nor myself were prepared to go to answer the door. We were both looking pretty awful and were still in our pj's. I looked out and said it looked like someone was delivering flowers. Mom answered the door. We looked at the card together and it was from my sister's in-laws, Doug and Tara. The card read, "Some days there won't be a song in your heart...sing anyway." E.A. Love Tara and Doug" I couldn't help but cry a bit. It's not like they're MY in-laws. It meant so much to me that they would do something like that for me.
Dad came home from working on some electrical stuff at Jay and Jenny's and Jenny had made and sent an entire pan of green bean casserole and ham since I was unable to eat anything on Easter. The tears started again. She knew how sad I was that I was basically unable to celebrate the holiday with the family and she took it upon herself to make sure that I celebrated...even if it was late. Talk about thoughtful.
I got ready to head out to Dr. Sailors office to pick up stuff for the CTs on Tuesday. When I drove by, they were closed. Next stop: Wal Mart. I have wanted a Wii Fit for a long time and today I decided I was getting one. I went ahead and purchased it online so when I went in the store, all I had to do was grab it. I ran into Andy Koch there and we ended up going over the situation. After that, I carried out my awesome new purchase and headed to TriPoint Medical Center. When I went into TriPoint, NO ONE was there. I couldn't find a single person that worked there. I found where I THOUGHT Radiology was, but no one was at the desk. There was a set of double doors there and I tried to get through there, but they were locked. I walked back and forth for 15 minutes or so and finally I saw a nurse come out of the double doors I had tried to go through. I asked where Radiology was and she said, "Right back here with me." Apparently, she had been manning both the front and back desks and someone had locked the doors so no one could get through to the back without a key card. She took me into the back and got my films for my old CTs. I asked her about whether or not I might be able to get the ultrasound that followed that and she was so nice about it that she just put EVERYTHING on a few discs for me. Thankfully, I think that means I really shouldn't EVER need to go back and get those again. I have a documentation of all the pneumothorax testing from when I was in the hospital and following that period, the CT of the abdomen and the ultrasound. On my way back, I stopped at Pat Catan's so that I could look for beads and things to work on the cancer line of jewelry and then I stopped at Sarah's house. Jaden wanted to play so badly, but I honestly didn't think I could do it. I felt awful. We did do a really cool experiment with some books though. :) I felt like I was in my very own episode of Myth Busters.
I headed home and had some soup while mom and I tried (and failed) to look at the CTs on my laptop. Jimmy called, so I took my phone to my room. He's such a sweet man. I'm looking forward to he and Chase heading back here for Memorial Day. I went back downstairs to talk to mom and dad was being really weird. He hadn't been here all day and then he went to the winery and got pretty close to wasted, came home and wouldn't speak to us and avoided all contact. Mom was starting to get really upset because work is hard enough as it is, now she has me to worry about, plus the fact that she's sick and now she's got to babysit her husband?! She finally confronted him about it and of course, he didn't respond well. She can't cope if he drinks and he can't cope if he doesn't. It turned into a big argument and it's all over me. I hate to think of my parents divorcing after 30 years because I just happened to get cancer. I started sobbing and ran upstairs. I had to call J and have him talk about something totally unrelated. He's so good to me. Shortly after that, I began a conversation with a close friend. He asked how I was and said that he was planning on holding a cabaret this summer and was wondering if I'd mind if he gave me the donations. Of course I started crying AGAIN! It's amazing to see how some people have just really taken it upon themselves to help out. It means more than words can say. Now I just need to continue trying to relax with a glass of wine, my book and some conversation with the man who helps me stay strong.
Tomorrow means church and most definitely an anointing service for me. I'm expecting God to do great things. Alright. Bed time.
Day Five: Slightly Bipolar
Verse of the Day: "This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24
Song of the Day: Healer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_MQtokXCb4&feature=related
No comments:
Post a Comment