Day Seventeen with Cancer

Day Seventeen with Cancer:

The countdown to surgery has begun.  I have five days until I'll be in the hospital.  Most of the time it really doesn't bother me, but then there are those sudden moments of anxiety when I think, "Wow.  I REALLY don't want to do this."  I had one of those last night.  It didn't last long, but the severity of the situation suddenly occurred to me.  I know it's going to be fine, but I started thinking about the amount of pain I'm going to experience.  When I went in for my lung surgery, I defied the pain initially.  I didn't care how much it hurt, I wasn't going to stay in that bed and let the nurses do everything for me.  I tried to get up and go to the bathroom, but when I stood up I almost vomited.  That was in my chest.  This is going to be in my abdomen.  It's going to hurt much more just trying to sit up, let alone walk.  That scares me a little.  I hate the thought that the littlest things are going to be a huge effort.  Getting up to go to the bathroom is going to be a major event.  That sucks.  Oh well.  It has to be done.  I'll do it and I'll do it well.

Today I went into work early.  Shiloh was catching a flight to California so she could be with her family.  Her brother just got back from Afghanistan.  I'm glad she was able to do that.  She won't get back until some time on Wednesday.  She said she'll come and see me in the hospital when she gets back.

The toddlers made me want to pull out all my hair today.  I have such a hard time dealing with the constant screaming, the hitting, the food smeared all over the tables...everything.  I swear I visited Andrea in the office 5 times.  It helped to take the kids on walks.  It seemed to keep them distracted.  We worked on making Pastor Terry a birthday card.  The kids were so excited while I was painting their hands.  We read a few books and then I pulled them in the wagon around the big square part of the building about 6 times.  Afer the 6th time, I asked if they were ready to go back into the classroom and Antonio jumped out of the wagon, grabbed the handle and said, "Your turn!"  I told him that it probably wouldn't be a good idea if I got in, but he could pull Destiny.  I was completely surprised at his strength and driving ability.  I didn't think he'd make it around once, but when we got back to our starting point, he was ready to keep going.  That boy made it around the church 5 whole times before his mother got there.  He was having a blast.  He actually ended up crying really hard when his mom picked him up because he was having so much fun.  I guess that's a good thing.

I went to Target after work and tried to print some pictures from my phone, but for some reason, the phone couldn't find the Kodak kiosk from Bluetooth.  I don't know why.  Of course, I didn't find that out until I stood in line for 25 minutes beforehand.  I figured all that frustration was at least worthy of a Mocha Lite Frappucinno, so I grabbed one on the way out and headed home.

There was a padded envelope from the Cleveland Clinic waiting for me once I got home.  I was sort of afraid to open it.  It turned out to be the image cd's of my CTs that I left with them when I met my surgeon.  Unfortunately, they didn't let me know if they found anything.  I may have to call about that.  I'd really like to know if they were able to find anything.  I figure if it takes 2-5 years for a polyp to develop into cancer, it was there during my last couple of CTs.  I wonder if Dr. Atreja would tell me.

I suppose I should get to bed.  Jason and I are going to the bank tomorrow to open up an account.  Eventually people will be able to donate and put money directly into the account through a website or paypal.  Jenny and Jason have already put links on their Facebook accounts to the Pampered Chef fundraiser on the 26th.  I'm hoping that we'll also be able to get some details for the other fundraiser ironed out tomorrow.  Things are looking good so far, but I'm going to have to do some delegating.

Day Seventeen:  Uplifting

Song of the Day:  While I'm Waiting
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bb7TSGptd3Y

Verse of the Day:
Psalm 29:11 The Lord gives his people strength.  The Lord blesses them with peace.